Finally, It's Settled: The Chicken Came First

Well folks, I know I'll be sleeping like a baby tonight. You see, I'm gonna get pass-out drunk and curl up on the bathroom floor with a towel scientists claim they now have proof that the chicken came before the egg. Great, now I'm hungry.

"It had long been suspected that the egg came first, but now we have the scientific proof that shows that in fact the chicken came first," Sheffield University's Dr Colin Freeman, according to a report in the Metro.

Researchers from Scotland and England used a supercomputer called HECToR to look in such detail at a chicken eggshell that they were able to determine the vital role of a protein used to kick-start the egg's formation.

That protein is only found, wait for it... inside a chicken.

Freeman, who worked on HECToR with counterparts at Edinburgh's Warwick University, said the protein had been identified earlier by scientists and was known to be linked to egg formation, "but by examining it closely we have been able to see how it controls the process," he added, describing it as a catalyst.

I'm not gonna lie, that was a lot less interesting than I was hoping. Also, less convincing. I give it a year before they're saying the egg came first and there's evidence a human traveled back in time to have sex with dinosaurs. Let me guess -- I left a condom wrapper.

Chicken Came Before the Egg: "Scientific Proof" [cbsnews]

Thanks to TobyRaider, who can't believe scientists waste their time on shit like this when we still don't even know why the chicken crossed the road.

• Is The Largest Planet In Our Solar System Hiding In A Comet Cloud (Spoiler: I Dunno)

  February 14, 2011

  Two nutjob astrophysicists are claiming a planet 4x the size of Jupiter (the current largest planet in the solar system) might be hiding in the Oort Cloud, a massive (1-light year in circumference) cloud of comets and fart particulate outside Pluto's orbit. Its orbit would b... / Continue →
• Red Rover, Red Rover: Glowing Puppies

  April 25, 2009

  Created in the same fashion as the glowing kitties we posted way back in December, 2007, scientists have bred transgenic (expressing a gene from another, unrelated organism) puppies that glow red under UV light. I don't want one. Ain't no devil dog livin' in this house! A te... / Continue →
• IGN Names Wal-Mart #1 Video Game Retailer

  November 7, 2008

  According to a recent IGN poll of 2,000 gamers (that's not enough), Wal-Mart is the go to for buying video games. I find it hard to believe, but I find a lot of things hard to believe. Moon landing my ass -- I'm gonna be first! Wal-Mart, the world's largest retailer, is also... / Continue →