I don't know why this story is just now making its way around the internet since I remember reading it back in '07 when it came out and forgetting to post it because I drink too much, but whatever. We all have our demons. Mine's booze. Little Hans JÃ¸rgen Olsen? His happened to be a pedophilic moose.
According to NextNature, the Olsen siblings "trespassed the territory of the moose during a walk in the forest near their home." When the moose attacked, Hans used the Warrior ability Taunt, i.e. he taunted the moose, thereby allowing his sister to escape. Stage 1 complete.
Next he had to save himself. There's an ability for that - the Hunter skill Feign Death. Hans lay still on the ground. The moose, exhibiting typical low-level monster behavior, left the boy alone and wandered off.
Well well well, playing World of Warcraft pays off after all. Not that you need WoW to defeat a moose. No, everything you need to know to put a moose down you can learn from God of War. Namely, freezing that bitch with Medusa's head and beating it till it shatters.
Thanks to COMFORT EAGLE, Zach, Eliza, Sally, Scotty, liquid Tension, TiStew, junkyard dog, Blaqk Panda, Ptentacle, and Ste, who would have beaten the beast with its own antlers.