May 27 2010Hair Smells Like Hair: Shirtless Kirk Cologne

shirtless-kirk.jpg

'Shirtless Kirk' cologne is a real olfactory treat coming out this July. Get ready to set your phasers to stunning! God I just want to huff it out of an old bandanna.

Sometimes the only thing standing between you and a successful mission is a thin piece of cloth. And whether in battle or love, you know the shirt is simply...optional. Some say it's the Uniform - made to command respect, strength and honor; but it's your flesh and blood barely contained within that svelte Officer's Attire that make you exactly who and what you are. And you know it. Shirtless Kirk. Save the Day...Save the Night. 100ml Eau de Toilette Vaporisateur Spray.

The $30 fragrance is available for pre-order now and ships in July. But as tempting as it sounds, I'm afraid I'm still holding out for 'Eau de That Three-Tittied Alien Chick From Total Recall'. AND THAT SHIT BETTER SMELL LIKE NIPPLES.

Product Site

Thanks to Suzanne, fishy sticks and Neil, who don't need manufactured fragrances to smell pleasant. Except for fishy sticks -- dude smells like a mermaid's vagina.

Related Stories
Reader Comments

Awesome

smells like b.o.?

Total Recall was cool, but GW should read (or at least make more references to) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy).

You're welcome.

@1, 2 , 3 YOU FUCKING SUCK

IM 1ST BITCHES., BWHAHAHHAHA

@4 Or you're actually fourth and just a fucking retard.

That sounds more appropriate.

I hope this is Shirtless "Chris Pine" Kirk and not Shirtless "William Shatner" Kirk. Becasue Shirtless "Chris Pine" Kirk I'd like the sweat off his hot shirtless body and armpits. Shirtless "William Shatner" Kirk I'd ask to put his shirt back on becasue he's kind of a goofball.

Mmmm, smells like Shat!

Triple breast (sfw):
http://pics.livejournal.com/jemck/pic/000019tz/

Shirtless Kirk Cologne - "Set Phasers to Stunning!"

***I only endorse this product as a Star Trek novelty collectible***

As a cologne, well, that's another story: Their claims drew me in, and I quote: Sometimes the only thing standing between you and a successful mission is a thin piece of cloth. Whether in battle or love, you know the ...shirt is simply...optional. Sure, it's part of the Required Uniform -- made to command respect and a symbol strength and honor; but it's your flesh and blood barely contained within that command gold officer's attire that make you exactly who and what you are. And you know it. Shirtless Kirk Cologne. Save the Day. Save the Night.

***OK, let's give it a try***

Upon spray it reminded me kind of like Joop, for the first 5 seconds, until my nasal passages began clouding up. I think I might need an antihistamine... Overpowering and incredibly strong like Captain Kirk, the second jab to the face left me somewhat dizzy and unbalanced. I took a step back, nauseated, almost as if a phaser blast had blinded me...my eyes began to water.

Knowing the full barrage was coming next, Kirk's signature double-fisted punch knocked me to the ground, a headache immediately ensued.

Waking up in sick bay, I found myself disoriented, but could smell Kirk nearby. He was coming to finish me off, I needed to get out of here! There was an open access panel across the room... as I crawled and muddled through jefferies tubes of the Enterprise... coughing and unable to breath... I finally emerged in the shower, scrubbing harder than Andy Dufresne's escape from the Shawshank Redemption.

Boldly going where no man has gone before, or should go for that matter, it was apparent that this epic battle was lost... there aren't many that can put up a fight against Captain Kirk, and win.

Post a Comment

Please keep your comments relevant to the post. Inappropriate or promotional comments may be removed. Email addresses are required to confirm comments but will never be displayed. To create a link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments.