I'm Too Drunk To Read That: Pop Quiz Clock
Sure I SHOULD be able to read the time even without solving the equations, but that wouldn't be giving the booze enough credit. One time I set the kitchen on fire because I couldn't figure out how long to put a 5-minute meal in the microwave (I opted for 2 hours). Joking, I passed out on the couch with the stove on, but still. The Pop Quiz clock costs $30 and makes the perfect Father's Day gift provided you don't care enough to get the ol' man something good.