Seen here possibly competing on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire', renowned astrophysicist and genius Stephen Hawking is speaking out against alien contact. You know, because they'll kill us all. Seriously. Like with laserbeams and shit. Riiiiiiight. Lay off the Avatar, Steve!
"If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans," said the astrophysicist in a new television series, according to British media reports.
The programmes depict an imagined universe featuring alien life forms in huge spaceships on the hunt for resources after draining their own planet dry.
"Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach," warned Hawking.
On the probability of alien life existing, he says: "To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational.
"The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be like."
And to think you all called me crazy for blogging with a foil helmet on. Well who's laughing now?! Or, should I say, who's NOT being mind-controlled by the aliens to laugh now? You're all gonna die! Or, even worse, become alien pets. Remember the Tamagotchi craze? It's gonna be you on that keyring.
Thanks to Charmin, who, wait -- ARE YOU THE ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE DINGLEBERRY BEAR COMMERCIALS?!