Apr 1 2010Astronomers Discover Two Old Black Holes


at the University of Arizona recently discovered two really old-ass black holes. Interesting, scientists, but maybe you should consider careers in Geriatric ASStronomy (shoot me now, please -- aim to kill).

As grimy and unkempt as our present-day universe is today, scientists believe the very early universe didn't have any dust -- which tells them that the most primitive quasars should also be dust-free. But nobody had seen such immaculate quasars -- until now. Spitzer has identified two -- the smallest on record -- about 13 billion light-years away from Earth.

What do you mean the early universe didn't have any dust? Of course it did. You can't tell me exploding things don't cause dust ,that's just ridiculous. And speaking of dust: did you know most house dust is skin cells and fly assholes? It's true, I learned that in school. Cosmetology school. Us girls, we get chatty!

NASA's Spitzer Unearths Primitive Black Holes [nasa]
Primitive black holes [twistie-tie]

Thanks to Mike, who once got sucked into an old brown hole in a dream. Uh, Mike, that's what we call a nightmare. Unless you're a freak.

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Reader Comments

you are the girls hit puberty together and oh boy did she fight back!

so thats just a sketch?


Thank you, GW, for not resorting to stupid April Fools posts. What little self-respect I have for you is saved.

Heaven, on the other hand, is full of dust. Angel dust.

am i the only one who caught GW's april fools joke in this?

Woot go Wildcats!!


This is a completre photoshop job. You can tell its a fake becasuse the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in themovie Never Back Down where MAx found Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton hiding under acardboard box at the Del Tacos making Bacon Fez's for each other.

Is Daisy seriously still doing this?

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