In bad news for guys who can't grow a beard, a recent study indicates that women find a little facial hair and a geeky personality the two biggest turn-ons. Really? THEN WHY HAVEN'T I EVER SEEN A BOOB?!
Despite complaining that it looks unkempt and feels rough to touch, the unshaven look on a man is actually a turn-on for 41 per cent of women.
A slightly geeky personality came second, proving that women really do like a guy who knows their stuff when it comes to technology.
A hairy chest was voted third, followed by a man who loves to read or cries at a soppy film. Other secret turn-ons to feature in the top ten include grey hair, glasses and being a passionate supporter of a sports team.
The poll of 2,500 women also revealed that 91 per cent would actually prefer a guy who had a few flaws over someone who is perfect. And more than half would rather a guy who was soft and cuddly instead of toned and muscly.
Jesus, you'd think I was God's gift to women the way that list reads. Well, provided God's gift to women glues pubes to his face and cheers for the Steelers. WHICH HE DOES.
Thanks to Comfort Eagle, who still made me feel better despite pecking my eyes out.