What you're looking at is the grave an ancient Roman gladiator. Now I know it may look like he was buried in the world's crappiest paper airplane, but it's actually a lead sarcophagus. And not the kind that makes your pee smell funny. That's asparagus. And Honey Smacks.
Found in a cement-capped pit in the ancient metropolis of Gabii, the coffin is unusual because it's made of lead--only a few hundred such Roman burials are known.
Even odder, the 800 pounds (362 kilograms) of lead fold over the corpse like a burrito, said Roman archaeologist Jeffrey Becker. Most lead sarcophagi look like "old-fashioned cracker boxes," molded into a rectangular shape with a lid, he said.
Hmm, maybe it's not a gladiator after all and is actually the beloved proprietor of a Roman Taco Truck. I'd believe that. Of course, I'd also believe it if you told me you were an alien that's come to earth to photograph human genitalia. Kidding, I'm not that stupid. But I'd still show it to you. What? I'm an exhibitionist!
Lead "Burrito" Sarcophagus Found Near Rome [nationalgeographic]
Thanks to Melissa, who agrees it's gonna have to be Mexican for dinner tonight.