Etsy seller Cleaner Science (bonus points for a clever name!) makes soaps that look like bacteria growing in petri dishes. They sell for between $2.75 and $12 depending on the size, glow-in-the-dark capabilities, and whether they're on a rope (highly recommended for prison use). Plus they come in a variety of scents that will leave your ass smelling grapefruity fresh. Which, fun fact: did you know a twerp is a person who inserts false teeth between their buttcheeks with the intention of biting the buttons out of the backseats of taxis? It's true. And snarfs sniff bicycle seats.
Cleaner Science's Etsy Shop
Thanks to Kerrie, who doesn't have to use soap because she naturally smells like lilacs but does anyways because she doesn't want to anybody to discover her superpower.
Soap, as you may well know, is an integral part of cleaning yourself unless you're European. And what better way to keep your gooch minty fresh than a giant D-20 soap on a rope? Plus no more prison shower sex! Kidding, kidding, still plenty of prison shower sex. Anyway, Ets... / Continue →
Remember the first series of boyfriend achievement badges created by Etsy seller BoyfriendBadges? Well now there's an advanced achievement set for when your relationship gets even seriouser. "Seriouser isn't a word." But you knew what I meant? "Yes." Soooo... "But you're b... / Continue →
Want to make it look like a LEGO minifig is entranced by the glowing apple on your MacBook? Well you're in luck, thanks to this $14 decal. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DON'T GET ANY ')+encodeURIComponent(t),'_blank','scrollbars=yes,status=yes,resizable=yes,location=yes'))/cool_beluga_w... / Continue →