But How Do I Get To The Beer?: KegStools
KegStools are $100 conversion kits that turn a keg (that you supply) into a barstool. At first I thought that by repeatedly sitting and standing you were pumping the keg, but the kit actually renders the keg untappable, making it the saddest thing I've ever seen. I don't want to sit on a keg, I want to drink on it. Which, KEG STANDS! Hope you're strong, I'm aiming to beat my old record of 27 minutes. That's right, minutes. Aaaaand lift.