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Happy Valentine's You Filthy Love Machines

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February 14th: A day invented by Hallmark to ensure I'll never live up to my girlfriend's expectations (it's true, Mayan calendars skip straight from Feb. 13 to Feb. 15). I hope you're having a good one and spending it with the one you love. Or at least looking at pictures of her on Facebook and sobbing while she's out to dinner with her boyfriend. Hey, it happens. Happy Valentine's Day, may yours be filled with all the love possible. And sex. Dirty, kinky sex. Now, where'd I put that saddle?

Someecards (the best online cards for any occassion)

Thanks to you, the reader, for filling my heart with joy and hate every single day.

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