Don't Get Mad,
Get Even Send A Bag Of Crap
Poopsenders.com is a service that allows you to send bags of animal feces to people you don't like. I assume it was created by a zoo employee because it's not just cow dung that's available, you can also opt for elephant and gorilla scat in quart and gallon sizes ($13-$24). It's real too because I went through the entire ordering process (The Superficial Writer has a birthday coming up). Well, that or I just got scammed. But I hope not because I can't wait to see the look on his face when he opens that box and I run up behind him and smash his face in it and set him on fire. Best present ever!
Thanks to Jcon, who sent a box to himself because he's sick like that. You need help bro.