Jan 28 2010Wait, What?: Certified Virgin Certificates


People can tell by your social awkwardness, you don't need a certificate. Also, isn't selling $1 virgin diplomas to people who "feel like a virgin, or want to be a virgin again" encouraging deception? And deception, as we all know, is the mantra of the Decepticons. Don't get me wrong, I still ordered like fifty certificates with a bunch of my aliases, but still. Do as I say, not as I do.

Certified Virgin

Thanks to David, who has a certified sexpert certificate. And I should know, I signed it.

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Reader Comments

I hope I ruin someone getting first with this post. I hate you all.

What if I tell you I have a virgin certificate? Will you love me then Isaac?

Excellent job, Isaac. Excellent job.

As long as I can shout out 'FIRST' afterwards. I'm happy.

lol..dude looks like Blake from American Idol. I thought he would get some after being on television.

I suffer from a very sexy learning disorder......... sexlexia

the jesus knows when you are lying and a fake certificate is just kindling for the fires of hell.

what smells like blue?

And for the ladies.... don't forget your fake virginity kit too

LOL. Pink button right on their main page says

"Get Cetified"

We've got automatic spell check in almost every program and yet...

Because you should celebrate the fact that you can't get any.

I Ejaculate Blood

Nobody would belive me even if I did have one of these.

It's not official until you've seen Rhea of the Coos.

[10 billion Internet points to whoever gets that reference.]

Wow that really takes the awkard out of announcing it. XD Like a guy is pressuring you and you just, take out your certificate. BAM!

i have one now yeahhh!!


Dudes already going bald and he has never been laid.

ANd happy about it!

Can you get special stamps that say "void" once the cherry gets popped?

@ Poop: I'm sure Edward Cullen will be calling you soon.

what is that font?

@6 Nice Futurama reference

Also I CAN'T WAIT TO LOSE MY VIRGINITY AGAIN!!! YAY for stupid products!!!

@Kyle : just saw it got fixed the main button

Don't worry Pat ... I have not forgotten the face of my father!

With that face, you dont need any certificate

For $1 I'll sell all the nerds a "Certified Sexed" certificate.

@Pat: She of the six-legged mutie cat, Musty?

Annnnd if you look closely the "Virgin Certifier" is a former president. Probably just a nod to Woodrow Wilson's policy of isolationism. That's HISTORY kid, alllll over yer face! Er, I mean this wall...

He's def not a virgin. Even if he has his certificate, I don't believe it!

Certified Guy Virgin = Certified Gay Closet-Case

'nuff said

I all ready have my virginity certified, I posted on Geekologie.



Well that's cheating.

I know for sure that mines will be valid for a very long time! :3

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