For Breaking News Always Use CAPS-LOCK
Using CAPS in text is the typed equivalent of screaming. I do it for emphasis, but my relatives tend to use it because they're stupid and want to make sure the latest "FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FUNNY ANIMAL PICTURES" chain email they've sent really grabs my attention. But apparently it's all (CAPS) systems go if we're talking breaking news! CAPS-LOCK: BECAUSE BREAKING NEWS CAN'T WAIT FOR THOSE LOWERCASE PUSSIES.
BREAKING NEWS REQUIRES ALL CAPS [gizmodo]
Thanks to Sharon, who actually does scream all the time in real life and may or may not be related to Susie Greene.