That's No Briefcase, That's A Beefcase! (God I Kill Me)
Sure it's mostly sausage in the case but I'm a word wizard and sausagecase doesn't even qualify as apprentice level word magic. Now sausage casing maybe... Anyway, this case holds 19 different types of sausage and, admit it, the key to your heart. Well, at least the key to stopping it. You gobble that meat, son!
Thanks to nd4spdgt, who also carries a beefcase AND baconbag.