Snow Sled + Shorts = Ninja Turtle Ass?
Snow Shorts are a pair of shorts that have a sled bottom so you can sail down snowy hills without lugging an annoying-ass sled everywhere you go. Also, I want it to be noted that Raphael there is doing it horribly, horribly wrong.
You won't have to worry about carrying your sled up the hill again and again because the sled is now your butt. Yes, it's a wearable sled! Just wear the snow shorts over your pants and get your butt on that snow. It comes in 3 sizes: small kids, big kids, and adult for $35.
Now I hate to brag about my sextacular proportions, but I'm definitely gonna have to wear a big kids size on each buttcheek. Now I know what you're thinking, and since I'm a kind and generous wizard, I'll answer: custom toilet.
Snow Shorts with a built-in Butt-Sled [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, who agrees a little non-caloric silicon-based kitchen lubricant on the bottom of that thing and you're ready to set a land-speed record.