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Questionable: This Bulletproof Pocket Square

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"The Damned" is a $136 piece of bulletproof fabric that was designed to go in your jacket pocket and protect your heart from being penetrated by a bullet. Clever, Mr. Bond, but I only trust my heart to a full flak jacket (and Lipitor). Per a company spokesperson who obviously doesn't care if they sell or not:

If a gun is aimed at you, fired, and the slug hits you, you will be hurt despite the properties of the square; The impact of the projectile itself is likely to fracture your bones bones and bruise you. According to the specifications of the textile, a ballistic projectile such as a bullet will not pass through seven layers of this material. We take NO responsibility for those who feel compelled to test the endurance or resistance of the textile in any way."

Ha, you have to fold it seven times! Six times and you're....oh -- oh! -- SHOT THROUGH THE HEART, AND YOU'RE TO BLAME, YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME IN A VAN PARKED OUTSIDE THE BAR AND I CAN PROVE IT I HAVE SPY PHOTOS!

Hit the jump for one more shot of the why bother.

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bulletproof pocket square: an essential accessory [technabob]

There are Comments.
  • ...
    Why.

    For one, the motherfucker who's robbing you is more than likely going to shoot you in the face or the gut.
    Secondly, even on the off chance that it hits the pocket square, /that son of a bitch has to be folded at least six times/.
    So please. Just buy a bulletproof vest.

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