So archaeologists recently discovered that Sinornithosaurus, a turkey-sized raptor that lived around 128 million years ago in modern China, was venomous and would paralyze its prey before OM NOM NOMing the shit out them with
tens billions of razor sharp teeth.
"You're in the forest," says Burnham, part of a team that recently documented the beast's venomous abilities. "You can't really see what's behind you. ... You may hear something in the leaves, but by the time you turn around it's too late.
"It jumps on your back, embeds its teeth in your tissues and within a minute you're into toxic shock, and just lay helpless as this thing devours you."
No word on how they actually know it was venomous, but if I had to guess I'd say it was from watching Jurassic Park. Regardless, I'm gonna need to start building up my Sinornithosaurus venom immunity now. That way when I travel back in time....
"Oh no, a Sinornithosaur has bit me -- whatever will I do? Heavens, I think I'm being paralyzed." (Now's the time when I start acting all stiff and fall over). BOOM -- DINO GENITALS IN MY FACE!
Thanks to Mike D, Erica, Jason and ted, who all know what I like. I like turtles!