But What About Candy?: A New Food Chain

Allegedly this is the new food chain. Of course, I call bullshit because anybody in their right mind who's ever been abducted by aliens knows they don't eat people. Jam Blu-Ray players up their asses, sure, but not eat. Now if you replaced the aliens with robots, then maybe you'd -- oh....yeah -- make me shit myself.

Ultimate Food Chain [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Jan, who is at the tip top of the food chain because the dude will eat anything.

• Very Cute: 'Zombies Are Nuts About Brains'

  December 10, 2009

  I thought this was just the cutest thing. You know, many times I've bought bags of shelled peanuts only to find a bunch of the poor bastards cracked open and missing their brains. Who knew it was the secretly the work of zombie nuts? Besides me, I know everything. Go on, as... / Continue →
• Canadians Create Mathematical Model For Successfully Surviving Zombie Apocalypse

  August 17, 2009

  Since there's no hockey on some Canadian mathematicians have shifted their efforts to creating a mathematical model for surviving the zombie uprising. And you said nothing good ever came out of Canada! That guy, right there -- he's the one that said it. GET HIM, CANUCKS! A... / Continue →
• Oh God, No. No, No, No: Robot Determines Humans Taste Like Bacon, Are Delicious

  October 27, 2008

  Great. NEC's Tasting Robot, the diminutive bastard originally designed to assess wines, has now assessed humans -- and determined they'd taste delicious. It's all pretty straightforward tech: stick a bit of nosh in front of the robogourmet's infrared spectrometer and it analy... / Continue →