Amazing Scientific Discoveries Of 2009
According to Fox News, arguably the hardest hitting news organization besides Geekologie and any other news organization, these are the most obvious scientific discoveries of 2009. They are (in no particular order):
*High Heels Lead to Foot Pain (And Extra Height)
*Men Much More Interested Than Women in Casual Sex (And Monster Trucks)
*Eating Lots of Red Meat and Processed Meat Is Bad for You (But Delicious)
*Kids' TV Is Full of Ads for High-Fat and High-Sugar Foods (Plus Tampons)
*Children Are Affected When a Parent Suffers From Depression (Or Stroke)
*Coed Dorms Fuel Sex and Drinking (Not Video Games?!)
*Sweets Taste Better When You're High (YES THEY DO!)
*G-Rated Children's Films Are Very Straight (X-Rated Adult Films Can Still Be Very Gay)
Geez, what's the matter with scientists these days? Sure we could be trying to cure cancer or making reliable time machines, but instead scientists are busy getting high, watching Disney films and trying to get experiment participants to sleep with them. That's pretty low (teach me everything you know).
Thanks to Jed, who discovered beef jerky in 2009 and has been loving it all year long.