Please Stop Breaking Into My Car: "Try Again And I'll Go Gordon Freeman On Your Ass"
Some poor bastard, fed up with his car being broken into, decided to leave this passive aggressive note for the thieves. And not only does he reference Half-Life, THE DUDE KEEPS AN OCARINA IN HIS CAR. ZOMG, do you think he's Link?! Yeah, me neither.
Also, to guy's credit, I added the asterisk to his signature. DUDE MEANS BUSINESS.
Thanks to gabby, who would have booby trapped the car with Goron bombs.