I'm Taking 'Em With Me!: The Gerbil Shirt (Exclusively For Pudgy Red-Headed Kids)
The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing.
The inventor suggests you can clean the Gerbil Shirt by attaching it to a faucet (remove pets first please), and you should avoid collisions and falls that could cause pet panic.
Listen, I'm not one to judge, except I totally am BECAUSE I'M SO GOOD AT IT. Wapner? Pfft, that old pantstain couldn't gavel his way out of a wet paper bag. Judy? Wrinkled whore. But a Habitrail vest? That's just a solid product.
Gerbil Shirt [ohgizmo]
Thanks to david, who better not catch you trying to run one of those tubes up your butt.