Google: Perfect For Searching AND Wiping
Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'.
Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.