Nov 9 2009Clever: D&D Character Sheet Styled Resume

dnd-resume-1.jpg

This is an artist/animator's very clever D&D style character sheet/resume. You can see a larger, more readable version HERE. And speaking of larger, more readable versions: how do I turn up the text size on my laptop? Somehow it got changed and now I can't even read what I'm typing anymore don't forget to call penis doctor about appt.

Character Sheet/Resume [superpunch]

Thanks to Blastphemer, who once blasted his femur right out of the socket doing jumping jacks and now has a peg leg.

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Reader Comments

That is pretty sweet. For a dork.

I think you're confusing 'clever' with 'really stupid'.

Lol, there's one bullet that's way off.

If somebody handed me that as their resume, I'd hire them just so I could FIRE THEIR ASS FOR GROSS MISCONDUCT.

that looks like a really good way to insure you end up living in your moms basement the rest of your life...

should probably spend less time being "clever" and more time applying for unemployment.

Font size? I figure something in control panel, if its just the webroser hold ctrl and scroll the mouse wheel!

This might be usefull if applying to Game Stop

We got a resume similar to this a year ago at the design agency I work at.
It gave us a good a laugh then the resume went into the trash immediately after.

Web Browser too....

Hold the Ctrl key and scroll up on your mouse wheel. It will increase the size of the entire entity on the screen.

-Arky

Where is that remote controlled cyanide implant when you need it....

@11 AHHHHHHH! I HAVE A HUGE ENTITY ON MY SCREEN!!!! HELP!!!

delete all porn, only way to restore the font size.

Just press ctrl while scrolling up to make your text normal again :)

OMG that's so creative you're awesome yadda yadda WAIT. Is that an ITS instead of IT'S?!

Rejected.

So many people don't realise that the text size bit was obviously a joke............

@ The Resume.

Spellcheck -6, he spelled "challenges" incorrectly in his character bio.

I thought the firearm and sword theme were a nice touch. Subtle insight into the persona of the individual. Giant red flag if he was applying at the post office.

Clever idea, but I could only see this working at some type of creative work environment.

Sick to the power of Rad!!!

I think that is a very unique resume for the job he wants to get. It's much more organized than my resumes lol

Well, obviously, I thought it was clever. If you read through the app, you see that he is an artist who has limited experience in the game design industry and is seeking a job within that industry. If he were applying for some other field, then I would definitely bap him with a noob stick, but in this instance I thought it was a cool way to stand out from other applicants while showing off a bit of his creative side. No harm, no foul.

In other news...I would've totally pwnd his Orc-tard ass with my level 20 lead designer, chaotic evil, goblin!!!!! Just sayin...

Well, if someone has to geek out and say it, it might as well be me.

First of all, his attirbute modifiers are way off. A score of 8 gives a -1 modifier. His CON and STR should both be at +3.

Secondly, even if he is level 22, there's no way his INT, CHR, and DEX should be so high - especially since he's an Orc.

Finally, where are his feats? Equipment (not weapons)? Spells? Languages? Modifiers for his skillpoints? Sure, this is creative, but just a bit inadequate....

Best part: 15 Ranks in Tumble. Why? BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS PUT 15 RANKS IN TUMBLE!!!!!

@24 & 25

yyyeESSS!!!

Good calls.

He already failed for using 4E style character sheet. Also, how is his Wis still only 8 if he is 22? He'd have no common sense.

I'm with Ferro. +20 for the idea, but he rolled a 1 on execution. This thing is rife with poor grammar, spelling, and generally bad resume writing style. ("I decided that the games industry is the area I would love to work in"? Good for you, that's probably why you're applying for jobs in that field...) I applaud the effort but someone needs to help him polish this if he really intends on trying to get a job with this thing.

If I can't tell in ten seconds why I should hire him, he fails.

Time's up.

Fail.

@Geekogie Writter: use ctrl+ to increase text size (you are on Firefox, no?).

@geekologiewriter

Press ctrl and scroll up to increase the size. Pfft. Shouldn't you know this? I thought you were a geek...

Might work at Taco Bell.

If you know what D&D means (I had to use wikipedia) you need to get a f&#king life.

all i wanna know is if he got the job

"Chaotic Good"

Someone is never getting hired.

Awww Brisbane Kids, they can't help but be a little retarded :)

Dungeon Manager: As your lvl 22 graphic artist walks into interview room, you see two chairs. One in front of the desk and one behind the desk.

Sean McNally: Is there anyone else in the room?

Dungeon Manager: No.

Sean McNally: I look through the desk.

Dungeon Manager: You find a company pen, a purse, a coffee mug, and other graphic designers’ resumes.

Sean McNally: I take the pen and the coffee mug. Then I look through the purse for cash.

Dungeon Manager: As you are looking through the purse, a noble female HR walks into the room.

Sean McNally: Fu(k, I hide behind the desk.

Dungeon Manager: Sorry, you have to roll initiative first, then Dexterity.

Sean McNally: Damn, I rolled a one for both.

Dungeon Manager: The noble female HR stares at you with slow recognition creeping into her face. She asks “What the hell are you doing?” As you try to dodge behind the desk you hit your head on it and the contents of the purse fly everywhere. The last thing you hear before you succumb to your concussion is the female HR screaming for security. You wake up in county jail awaiting your trial for theft.

Sean McNally: This is stupid; I want to reroll another character. This time I'll be a lvl 15 manga artist.

Dungeon Manager: Sorry Sean this is real life and you're in a lot of trouble.

Sean McNally: What? Wait, you're not a DM are you?

Dungeon Manager: No Sean, I'm your court appointed lawyer. We need to talk about plea bargains.

Sean McNally: Damn......

I only need to watch to increase size. er. I mean...

and anyway I'd dump his resume like a dead rat because of his catastrophic sense of graphic design. seriously. you? artist? go away. maybe back to a few more years of artschool. or something completely different.

#24 EXACTLY

#33, if you had tu use wikipedia to look up what D&D is, you don't belong here. Go home to your mommy... unless you wanna larp with some of the guys here.

DnD Twat.

No way is this person a level 15 Artist. 5 or 6 at most. +11 with a tablet? In his dreams!

Post a PDF? Even that "hi-res" JPEG is hard to read.

Arm Chair Recruiters ATTENTION!

First, if I were to get this resume as a art manager, I would give him props for the:

-early 90's style RPG character sheet (if you werent there shut the fluck up)
-balls
-sense of humor
-and since you flucks are talking about it, an eye for something that sticks out

Guess that makes it a win if you work at a game company. I'd hire the guy after an interview to make sure he wasn't a doppleganger.

WIN

-

Penis büyütücü ister misiniz?

FAIL
it's based off a Wizards of the Coast character sheet
anyone knows the stuff Gary Gygax wrote for TSR is the REAL D&D

masa ve sandalye portalı

WHY
DIDN'T
I
PUT
MY
EMAIL
ON
THAT
FUCKING
RESUME.

I swear to god, this was meant to be a joke, but random people i meet know about my joke resume here. what the fuck.

incidentally, i got a job animating for a small company making games. So fuck all yall haters, you all contract filth fever/

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