Oct 28 2009Smile Or Suffer The Wrath Of Happiness Hat!

The Happiness Hat is a little beanie that senses if you're smiling and stabs you in the back of the head with a spike if you're not. It was designed by Lauren McCarthy to train your brain to smile, but it would probably just train my brain to leak out the hole it's made. You can't teach an old blogger to smile! Or wear pants to the office. Get an eyeful, Superficial Writer, you know you want to!

Lauren McCarthy's Website

Thanks to Lauren, the mad hatter herself, for Pavlovian dogging the shit out of modern facial conditioning.

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Reader Comments

the coveted first spot is mine.

the happiness hat i wear is made of rubber and makes me have less fun, oh i remember the days i would galavand around the town bringing the clap to any girl who gave me the eye... good times, dont get married


Ooooo that sound is creeeepy...

Lauren is a cutie pie though :D

She'd get it.

thats messed up

What, noone has made the obvious Ren & Stimpy reference yet? See the episode "Stimpy's Invention", for the "Happy Helmut" (and of course the Happy Happy Joy Joy song)


She let down her gaurd for a second toward the end while being handed a cup a coffee, then she twitched and smile back right away being reminded by the nail. Dude, that twitch is so frekish like she has a biological disorder, I would have been freaked out if I was the barister! Hahah.

Hey Lauren. You'd get it for sure!

BTW, looks like your getting it in the butt each time you forget to smile. I dig it

Brave New World and 1984, here we come!

I can see Wal-Mart requiring this for cashiers in the near future.

If you want a hat to make you smile, how about one of those helmets that hold two beers?

Cheers @ 12! best comment yet - for me anyways

That hat is some freaky shit. Makes me think of some twisted saw shit tbh

@7: Funniest damn thing ever! "They're full of glue!"

wtf, - smiling all day means your cheeks will get tired!!

i dont like it at all.

trust me I know that grimace - it's not the little pricks to the head... but rather a combined effort to the southern region at a northerly approach.

There's nothing worse than an insincere smile....

...except one that is forced by a helmet that drives sharp objects into your skull if you don't.

@20 - grammar fail.

Also, the happy hat would make a fantastic sadistic torture device... "Smile and you lose a finger!"

Also, I'd hit that.

reading your comments, i have the feeling that you were looking ... at her head ... , this is really against nature, get back to work and stare at what you are intended to stare at !

I'd hit it. Twice.

That girl looks like she needs a good pokin' to put a smile on her face.


You know she isn't happy on the inside.
"Get this shit off of me"

omg, she's a cutie!

Surprised Disney isn't requiring these on their "cast members".

this is something i'd see the joker make

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