This is a $99 Lap Pillow from Japan that, get this, looks like an actual lap! They come in both black and red skirt options and make a perfect gift for the person in your life that has everything but sexual relations with real people.
This pillow is skin-coloured polyurethene calves folded under soft thighs, a comfy cushion for napping, reading, or watching television.
And that's ALL they're good for, okay? Napping. Reading. Watching television. No funny business -- this includes prop comedy. Wocka wocka wocka!
Thanks to Claytron, who is holding out for chest pillows which, actually, probably already exist.