This isn't the first hands-free umbrella we've ever seen, but it does rank right up there with the stupidest (you're going to get one, aren't you?). The Shoulderbrella is a $25 flexible dong that attaches to the end of any umbrella so that you can form it around your shoulder for hands-free umbrella usage. Also works with parasols! Unfortunately the Shoulderbrella does NOT work with taste and decency. Or shoulder mounted cannons. Which, okay now I'm thinking about boobs. My God I love those things.