Jul 16 2009The World's Most Perfectly Spherical Balls


Meteorologists at Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization have created the world's most perfectly spherical balls out of silicon. Next, breasts.

This is one of the two most perfect spheres ever. Exactly one kilogram--Imperial units be damned forever--smooth to the nearest 0.0000000003 meter (1.18110236 × 10-8 inches), and round to within 0.00000005 meters (1.96850394 × 10-6 inches).

Nice try guys, but I've been told more than once that I, in fact, have the nicest set in the galaxy. Back me up in the comments, ladies.*

*Any unflattering comments will be deleted. I'm looking at you, Carol. And you, Josh.

Hit the jump for one more shot.


World's Most Perfect Pair of Balls--Yes! [gizmodo]

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who somehow knew about my spheres. Just hopefully through warlockery and not prowling outside my window.

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Reader Comments

the man speaks the truth

I've always known STOMPY to have perfect spherical balls

That's no moon!


ooooooo.... round

"what will we spend the grant money on this decade...cancer cure?..nope...cold fusion?...nope... making a perfect sphere?.... ok show of hands... we have a winner"

Just think of everything we can do with near perfect spheres...........(cricket cricket).......

@1 you didn't mention he has 3 of them in that perfect set AND that they glow like those stones in Indiana Jones & the temple of doooom when touching one another

annnnnnnd we need something this round for...

It was my understanding that GW's spheres were more like fuzzy tennis balls...


The best ben wah balls ever! DUH!

No...no I'm pretty sure the beach balls at walmart are more spherical than than...

GW has the most perfect balls - in his mouth...


The GW's balls may be perfectly spherical, but they're just a little too salty for my liking.

I can state for a fact that his balls are in no way, shape or form spherical!

They are actually rough lumps of fetid glutinous robot bile, strategically shaped to resemble testicles.

what's the point in making them?

They are used in experiments involving exact weight and other measurements.

What do you have when you have one little and one even smaller ball in your hand?

the geekologie writers sack.

LSD - but are they chocolate?

@19, Butterscotch.

in your mouth

@5.... I agree. Yay... almost perfect balls. Now wtf does that accomplish and how much was spent on achieving this task?

Bukowski does not approve.

I've got big balls
I've got big balls
They're such big balls
And they're dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But GW got the biggest balls of them all....

yes, backed up.

your perfect pair hold the key to all that is wonderful and symmetric in the universe.


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie NEver Back Down where Max had a dog who attacked a guy and bit him in the nuts. He went to the hospital and had them replaced, but the Dr. lost the donor testacles, so he put in onions instead. After recovering the guy got a boner every time he drove past a White Castle.

Hey everybody have you seen my balls there big and salty and brown!

and yes, GFS and FAH-Q, I used the wrong there in that post.... watcha gonna do?

actually this breakthrough will create an advance in manufacturing of bearing and such making machines that much more efficient..

..at killing

I'm not sure what they are going to do, but I plan on curb stomping you. Put those pearly whites on the concrete bitch.

So its finally proven, All Australian scientists do is play with their balls.....

World Leader 1: Hey, the entire world's economy is in the shitter. How are we going to fix this debacle?
World Leader 2: How about a senible plan to assist the people most affected by this recession?
World Leader 3: Screw that, let's make some spherical balls that are more perfectly spherical than any sphere in existence.

World Leader 1: Sounds awesome! Let's do it!
World Leader 2: Yep, and let's make some cool carrying cases with handles for them, too!
World Leader 3: Hell yeah!!

RoboGeisha FTW

Even though you can click my name to get here I'll post it for all you other robogeishan00bs


So, exactly what's the point of making some roundies?


yeaahhhh go team Australia

Okay... So I actually see the point in making precise spheres - ball berrings for large complex machines, and similar industrial uses would cut down on maintanence requirements and over the long term, be more cost effective.


Check it out. By deduction, we now know that GW gets his waxed.

Man I want to take one of those bowling. But then again, they would have to invent the worlds smoothest bowling lane first.

Its memorizing to watch them slowly rolling around on a mirror, I bet that's why they did it

They shoulda just used that sphere from the movie Sphere. It was waaaay cooler and liquidy and shit. And from space...and made your whacked dreams come true...and shiny!

This has gone too far. Even the scientists are gay. How much time and energy did they spend on the set of perfect balls? If it was me I would have bee making the perfect twat.

Why the hell did weathermen make this, though? I can understand engineers... but weathermen??

The point of these spheres is to try and solve the "kilogram problem." The kilogram is the last SI unit that is defined by an artifact instead of a standard measurable physical property. Currently there are 3 (4 maybe) different artifacts around the world that are used to define the kilo. But they are all changing in mass at different rates. That means that the unit isn't quite standard. This is particularly a problem since a large number of other SI units incorporate the kilogram into their definition.

These spheres are an attempt to remedy this problem, and redefine the kilogram based on a reproducible measurement. This is meant to lead to more accurate and reliable science.

They may not be the solution to our economic or energy woes, or even mechanical problems. But they are still useful.

metrologist not meteorologist.


I thought the entire metric system was based on water. 1 cubic centimeter (aka 1 mililiter) of water weights exactly 1 gram and has a density of 1. Couldn't you just take 1 liter of water and use it to define the kilogram?


I think early on water was the basis for some of the units of the metric system. But that doesn't turn out to work soo well since the density of water changes depending on pressure and temperature. So, using water, one still needs some kind of standard but also conversion factors to accommodate for different conditions (this means more measurement which means more errors - and we want to keep it as simple and tidy as possible). Also, you have to have a very accurate volume for defining your litre, and then you are back at the same problem being faced here. The spherical-ness is a way to very precisely know the volume of the sphere so that one can know how many Si28 atoms are in it so that the kilo can be defined in terms of number of Si28 atoms. This is a bit more of a problem with water since it is relatively volatile (unlike a solid which at ambient temperatures and pressures have much much lower vapor pressures), hence using Si instead of water.

i refuse to make a ball joke.

geekologie was on headline news this morning, they even showed the site... get em GW

@48 I concur

also in other news I hopefully have the 50th comment

of course everybody was expecting to hear a joke along the lines of
"the worlds SECOND most perfectly"
"the worlds most perfectly ... . Surprisingly, not my own"

I think what SHITBITCH CARL is trying to say is, you need some real balls to solve the kilogram measurement problem.............

tip your waitresses....


I don't get it, it's just a ball. Sure it's shinny but it's still just a ball. And I know you explained it but all I heard/read was blah blah blah.


Wow, big shiny round balls... Now what do they do? Unless they can somehow save us from robot domination I dont see any good to them!




GW has cube shaped balls

@ ShitBitch Carl

Very well said, and I'm going to guess that it was someone very much like yourself within the government sponsored Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization that was able to convince a politician to raise funding (taxes) for this worthwhile scientific endeavor. I hope Austrialia enjoy their balls as much as I do.

@26 You DON'T get a boner every time you pass White Castle?


"hey lets go make some near perfect balls to help throw the world further into dept and to waste everyones money"- some retarded scientist


Please please change the name of the scientists developing this.

We are metrologists!!! not meteorologists.

Yay science of measurement!

Wife: "What are you giggling at?"
Self: "The Geekology Writer's perfectly spherical balls."

Then Wife gets this faraway, dreamy look in her eyes...

I think you mean Metrologists not Meterologists...they deal with weather.

yepp hes got som nice ones.

now wheres my ten bucks?


There's very little reason for it to be a photoshop job. The story's quite real.
Here's a link to the same story on ABC television


If you REALLY want to figure out what's doctored, and what's not, the first step would probably be to check whether the story is reported by at least a half dozen reliable news networks (use your own discretion as to what is reliable).

If no-one works to advance science except where it is clearly and obviously immediately useful, technology will stagnate, Perfect spheres help correct our measurements, which helps correct our math. Bad math, in the form of miscalculation of risk, WAS a MAJOR cause of the current recession. A perfectly standard weight measurement (and perfect spheres) may not stop this recession, but there is a chance it will help stop the next one, or the one after that. We have not yet come up with an economic model that is not prone to crashes. SOME of that answer may lie in math and the prediction of when and how the crashes will occur.

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