Goodbye Cruel World: The Wearable Towel
Following in the stylish footsteps of the Snuggie, Slanket, Peakaroo, WonderRobe, MagicJacket, CarpetVest and PlushiePants, comes the Wearable Towel (THAT'S THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH?!). It's a towel with holes in it that you put your head and arms through. And wear. Like an animal pelt, but way more Roman. They cost $20 plus shipping and handling and come in red, white and blue. BECAUSE THEY'RE AMERICAN DAMNIT! Like apple pie, if apple pie was manufactured in Singapore.
Thanks to yourmotherslover, who may or may not be your dad.