Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Inventor Denied Patent For Human 'Killer Chip'

death chip.jpg

A Saudi inventor was recently denied a German patent for what is being described as a "killer chip". What is a killer chip? Cooler Ranch Doritos, hands down.

The basic model would consist of a tiny GPS transceiver placed in a capsule and inserted under a person's skin, so that authorities could track him easily. Model B would have an extra function -- a dose of cyanide to remotely kill the wearer without muss or fuss if authorities deemed he'd become a public threat.


The inventor said the chip could be used to track terrorists, criminals, fugitives, illegal immigrants, political dissidents, domestic servants and foreigners overstaying their visas.

"The invention will probably be found to violate paragraph two of the German Patent Law -- which does not allow inventions that transgress public order or good morals

If the aliens have taught us anything, it's that the key to successful human tracking is NOT LETTING THE HUMANS KNOW. You embed a cyanide chip under my skin and guess what -- I'm cutting it out. With my teeth. Oh I'm sorry, was that too hardcore for you? Yeah, well one time I ate two of my own toes because I hadn't eaten dessert.

Saudi 'Killer Chip' Implant Would Track, Eliminate Undesirables [foxnews]

Thanks to Dustin and philip, who track people the old fashioned way: by looking for footprints and shit. Literally, looking for shit.

  • October 6, 2011
    Picture related: golf cart. The FCC has announced that all cell phones in the US must have GPS capabilities by 2018 so that authorities can better pin-point 911 calls. Ooooooor make it easier for big brother to track your location. F*** that! *throws cell phone in back of m... / Continue →
  • October 12, 2009
    Let's cut right to the questionable chase: this is a sculpture (or mold) of artist Marc Quinn's head made from 4.5 liters of his own frozen blood. Really gets you in that Halloween spirit, doesn't it? No, not so much. The blood is taken from this own body over a period of fi... / Continue →
  • August 10, 2009
    A Florida man blamed his cat after officials busted the failure at life for downloading over a thousand images of kitty kiddy porn. Griffin told police he had been downloading music, and that his cat jumped on the keyboard when he left the room. He said "strange things" appear... / Continue →
There are Comments
blog comments powered by Disqus