Archie, after like a million years of trying to bone both Veronica and Betty, is committing himself to one woman, Veronica. *sniff* Don't do it bro, don't do it. Why buy the cow when you can do everything on the farm, know what I'm saying? I'm talking goats and shit.
In what's being billed the "Archie Story of the Century," perennially indecisive loverboy Archie Andrews has finally chosen the raven-haired Veronica Lodge over sunny girl-next-door Betty Cooper, according to the official Archie Comics website.
"Could it be true? Has Archie finally decided to take the plunge and propose to comics' favourite rich girl? It sure looks that way!" read a note posted online Wednesday.
Sure it looks that way, but nothing is what it seems...IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE *dum dum dum -- doot doot dum dum dum dum dum!*. The whole fiasco will be spread out over six comics (issues # 600-605) and culminate in Veronica catching Archie and Betty together (in a sexually suggestive situation) the night before their wedding and then locking the two in a hotel room and burning the building to the ground. The last panel will be Veronica giving Jughead a little hand action in the car while a fire engine races past.
Thanks to spiderkitten, who totally agrees I'd make a great comic book writer.