Mar 18 2009Tool Box Must: Multi-Purpose Halligan Rescues Kittens From Burning Buildings And Brains Zombies With Equal Dexterity


The Halligan Bar is a tool used by both fire fighters and rescue workers to bash open doors, pry shit off other shit, and all around beat the hell out of stuff. And now you can own one. The 30" bar is available in alloy steel (10 lbs, $195) and titanium (5.25 lbs, $555) and is a must-have for anybody with any interest in surviving the zombie apocalypse. Just imagine a zombie's head on the end of that thing. Oh I'm sorry, did I just get you excited? Good, meet me in the janitor's closet in five. Now, don't get up as the same time as me, someone might get suspicious. Or, in The Superficial Writer's case, jealous. THERE WAS NO SPARK -- move on already.

Halligan Bar [cooltools]

Thanks to hayden, who once punched a zombie in the mouth so hard all its teeth fell out so hayden gathered them all up and put them under a pillow but the tooth fairy didn't come. What a sham!

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Reader Comments

Possible first?


@ first ahahha dam just by 1 min

I must get myself one of these. Could be useful....


Geekologie = Your home for expensive shit you'll never need.

Anyone else notice that this is a slow day? I think the GW is a little hung over from last night.

*runs to the janitor's closet*

YAY! Zombie fighting equipment!!!

wow, a tool that's been around for almost 60 THAT is cutting edge news.

Slow news day Geekologie? Or just really, really lazy?



-You shall not make puns about janitors, for I am in love with one.
-You shall show yourself!
-You shall kick old people down the stairs.
-You shan't know the meaning of pain till' you penis fence.
-You should totally go out with my sister for she loves you with a raging inferno of passion
-You shall kick my sister down the stairs (repeatedly)
-You shall one day *sighs* go out with the superficial writer and confess your eternal love for her.
-You shall die peacefully while screwing a dinosaur...

There I put together you life story... ~!Congratulations!~

Only nancys put question marks after their firsts.

cool ..too bad its expensive... im sure a slasher flick is in the mix (ignores that it was invented in the 1940's)

This tool is one of the best on my fire better way to rip shit apart or shut people up!

I want one! It matches my fubar!

im gonna stick to the trusty trident/pitchfork. they are very cost effective, good reach advantage...if sharpened, can slice like a spear if swung effectivly beheading the enemies.... if you stab, it effectivly prevents them from sliding down the shaft and biting you anyways.

ill take pitchfork FTW

*runs face first into already occupied janitor's closet door*

Well the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
You dont think of them as human
You dont think of them at all
You keep your mind on the money
Keeping your eyes on the wall

Im your private dancer
A dancer for money
Ill do what you want me to do
Im your private dancer
A dancer money
Any old music will do

I wanna make a million dollars
I wanna live out by the sea
Have a husband and some children
Yeah I guess I want a family
All the men come in these places
And the men are all the same
You dont look at their faces
And you dont ask their names
Repeat chorus twice

Deutschmarks or dollars
American express will nicely thank you
Let me loosen up your collar
Tell me do you wanna see me do the shimmy again
Repeat chorus

I want one. I'll keep it locked up with my shotgun and canned foods.
@16 Good Idea, I'll get one of those too.


This is a complete photoshop. YOu can tell its a wrong because this is no freaking tool, this is the dildo that the girl from the next post uses!

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Titanic where Ronaldo DiCaprio or whatever is going to kill himself by dildoing to death! and he is stopped by... erghhh.... the girl.... the one that appears naked in one scene n.n

Where did he found this dinosaur bone!?


HAHAHA... I actually did get a bit excited when you mentioned zombie heads on the end of that thing.. lol >.<


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake becauise the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max teams up with a cute dog named Jake to discover America. In the process they accidentally kill his partner. By the end of the movie they run away from 666 ewoks and end up winning the admiration of their department, living happily ever after.

Can you get an adamantium one for $666? Because I don't think a titanium one will work for me...

yay zombie apocolypse multi tools does the titanium one coe in black? if not it wont match my armor.

@26 you can always anodize it ... how much did the titanium armor set you back?

Wasn't this the thing they used to attach themselves to the sand worms in Dune?

This was posted yesterday and I'm STILL excited. *runs back to the janitor's closet*

This should be called the "Hooligan" . Quite effective during times of social unrest.

I'll take one in each alloy if you can cross it with a LOBO. Gotta have that bladed shovel to chop and bury those ZedHeads.

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