Mar 13 2009Sissypants Suing Over Exploded iPod Touch

boom touch.jpg

A 17-year old and his family are suing Apple after an iPod Touch allegedly blew up in the sissy's pocket and caused 2nd degree burns.

It claims the boy had his i-pod touch off and in his pocket at school on December 4th, when he heard a pop and felt a burning sensation.

The lawsuit is seeking more than 200-thousand dollars in damages.

Pfft, I've got some 2nd degree burns but you don't see me trying to sue Cup Noodles. No, I think there's more to this story than the family is telling us. Namely, their house is about to be foreclosed and there was a reciprocating saw involved in the explosion. Elementary my dear, Watson. Now, fetch me a glass of the good stuff and come sit on Sherlock's lap.

Family Sues Apple Over Exploding iPod [local12]

Thanks to Douche McAllister, who had an entire sever blow up and catch fire in his pants but refused to sue because he's a real man with wrought-iron genitalia.

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Reader Comments

Yeah right...he wishes...I call fake.


second poster EPOCH FAIL

Boo Hoo, second degree burns. Somebody call the waaaaaaambulance.

Check this out:

what an idiot

I warned you people! (

How'd GW know I have a wrought-iron dick?

Well, looks like accidents do happen in the pants, most of the time. Luckily, if you're afraid an accident might happen in your pants, whether it be an exploding gadget or a brown load, I have a solution to you dear sir! Oh, yes indeed I do, have you heard about diapers? Not sexy enough for you? Watch this:
Diapers can stop anything from brown loads to leaking battery fuel from ruining your day!

I call shenanigans on that sissy

i say that its a family of dumb-asses trying to make a quick dollar....even if it did expload, which i think is a load of shit, there is no way in hell that 200,000 dollars in damages were made....

Explosion... in pants. Sensation? Where can I get one of these touches?

The kid probably pissed his pants causing a short circuit thereby blowing up his iTouch.

Introducing the new iPod touch(yourself)

OK, look, it's this simple, if you want to use an iPod you have to wear a diaper! When the iPod starts burning you will have the smooth cotton to comfort you + suffocate the fire in your pants. As an added bonus, if there is something else nasty in your pants the diapers will take care of that problem too. Just remember to go home to ur mom to have the diaper changed every now and then, OK will you sissy? That way there wont be any accidents in the elevator or with your new iPod or anything.


(TNT not included. See dealer for details.)

The ipod probably wasn't off, he was gaming some fierce pocket pool during finals before the 'accident'

butt explosion

that's all their asking? pshhh~ amatuers, 200k is chump change to Apple they will pay it off before it reaches court. He should of sued for at least a couple millions for emotional damage, physical injuries, electronics phobia, etc.

he probly blew a cap putting in the battery wrong or shorted it with sweat or something... although xboxes overheat easily due to faulty soldering so it could be legit depending on what an internal investigation of the cuircuitboard reveals, but it is alot of pissing and moaning and it really serves him right for buying apple

Stop. oh oh oh ooooooooooooh ohh oooooh oh ooh ooooooooooooooh
ow ow ow ooooooooh stop oh stop ooh ooooooooh oh oh oooooooooh
I can't breathe ohhhh stop uh uh ooooooooooooooh

did this happen in china by any chance?
because everything explodes there.

Eventually, all iPOds will explode.

It could have ruptured his carotid artery, and bled him like a pig in an abattoir—like that Chinese guy. Always look on the bright side, eh?

thats what happens when you buy an "iP.O.S."

GFS- I told him. Your mom told me. She also said you think it's bigger and better than it really is...


That's my mom. God love her. Willing to sacrafice so much so I can have an over inflated image of my penis. Wanna play with it, Thumper?


I somehow doubt an ipod would simply explode whilst turned off.

I love America lawyers and their love of HUGE law suits payouts. LET'S SUE THEIR ASS!!. Terrible system. This one reminds me of that time they drove a bus around a community in LA that was known to sue anything that went wrong or out of place. The bus had 4 people on board including the driver. The 3 passengers were actors and the bus was designated to crash into a parked car waiting around a bend. The crash happens, the doors fling open and it fills with 10 onlookers clutching their necks and arms in agony. One even said he was going to sue the bus company for reckless driving. The were all arrested.


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly lioke that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max made like he was surrendering to the weird German guy but had a PEWPEWPEW gun taped to his back and took care of him.

That's what you get for buying an apple product.

How can a "sever" blow up? LOL G.W...

I knew crApple was gay, but this also proves it's a pedophile! It tried to nom nom an underage boy's junk and got so frustrated it blew up.

no way 17 year old boy had an iPod touch at school TURNED OFF
the story is a lie before it begins, why the hell do I wanna hear the rest of his dribble

HAHAHA I onced spilled cup noodles on my self too and i had these brown burn marks on my lap for a few months!

Play the game ans see its fun

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