ShamWow Guy ShamPows Hooker's Face

First of all, Vince Shlomi, the ShamWow guy, is 44 years old. In the infomercials he doesn't look a day over a very douchey 25. Secondly, a $1,000 hooker tried biting his tongue off during a sexual encounter at a South Beach hotel and Vince was forced to ShamPow her in the face until she let go. Damn, that is some freaky cannibal S & M shit. And lastly, since when is being the ShamWow guy not enough to get a dude laid for free? Next thing you know you'll tell me Ron Popeil isn't sticking his Solid Flavor Injector to a bunch of groupies. Now back me up here, Ron. Ron? What do you mean you're a 'Pocket Fisherman'?

Hit the jump for a raggedly looking ShamWow guy and hooker.

ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust [thesmokinggun]

Thanks to Anna, Vossk, Jacen and Billy Mays, who once killed a hooker and didn't have to ShamWow up any blood because they were smart enough to use a tarp.

• Thief Uses Head As Battering Ram, Fails

  April 6, 2009

  A would-be thief tried to use his head as a battering ram to bust open the back door of a home in St Petersburg, Florida. He failed miserably. But I loved how he got down like a bull before charging the door, I thought that was a nice touch. Just chalk it up as a learning ex... / Continue →
• I Want A Mirror Background On My Monitor

  September 22, 2008

  This is old. And sadly hilarious. I can't believe poor Wekweti can even use a f***ing computer scanner. How turn computer monitor into mirror? [yahooanswers] Thanks Roberto, but agrees it'll only work if you take a picture of the mirror.... / Continue →
• Verizon Technician Busted For Making $220K In Phone Sex Calls Using Customer's Lines

  September 10, 2008

  A Verizon technician, whose name I won't mention (Joseph Vaccarelli, 45, of Nutley, New Jersey) managed to tap into the land lines of over 950 customers and make 45,000 minutes of phone sex calls. Verizon estimated that out of a 40-week period, Vaccarelli spent 15 weeks talk... / Continue →