Mar 23 2009At Least He Was Honest: Internet Scam Fail

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I can't even count the number of times I've been contacted by Nigerian princes to help move their money out of the country. Unfortunately, I don't keep a bank account because that's just another way the man tries to keep tabs on my brothel me on a short leash. Anyway, I like how the scammer comes out of character at the end with a "thanks man". That was great. Not as great as my love for you, but I have a big heart. And hands. Hey, did you know if your hand is bigger than your face you'll die young? It's true -- you should try it. *SMACK-A-POW* Wow, I can't believe you fell for that. Ha, or when I told you I loved you.

Thanks to Joemo, who once conned an old lady out of her retirement by having sex with her. Gross, Joemo.

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Reader Comments

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

SEGUNDO SEÑORES! SEGUNDO!

I still sit in complete disbelief when I hear that people are still falling for this scam. Are there people out there who are really that naive?

I cannot imagine falling for this either unless you just got teh interwebz last week & your first television.

And I thought honesty paid.

I'm going to add Mr. Robert Dutu to my messenger & see if I can't find him to make a similar offer

So he was sitting around some time getting drunk off of enbalmed monkey brains, thinking "I'll be the next big Nigerian scammer! WIN!"

lmao. yup that's an honest scammer for sure...

This is a heartwarming story.

This reminds me of the time that i.....went downstairs in the middle of commenting to take some bong tokes and forgot to say something clever. thanks man.

scurl you are the perfect example of a stoner telling unfunny jokes

nobody said I wasn't perfect.

This is most funny.

I once received, one of those "help me move my money out of the country blah blah blah -Nigerian Prince" things... we were going to put it in a picture frame as a joke.........

Classic, I wonder how often this actually happens?

@10 I do that all the time

add robert dutu on skype

No Daisy today... I'm not sure how I feel about that

I actually WENT TO SCHOOL with a Nigerian prince, believe it or not. Like seriously. And his father totally got overthrown our senior year in high school. They stole billions, moved to Switzerland. Like, I shit you not.

I cannot believe people still buy this crap... His honesty is irritating "Thanks for wishing me luck on screwing old people out of their money man"

thats some honest scum....

So anyone...snipe hunting? Here's your stick and your bag....

LOL

LOL FAIL

EPIC FAIL

LOL EPIC FAIL

EPIC POST OF EPIC FAIL

LOL EPIC FAIL IS EPIC


What a load of spastics.

Fake! You can tell because the pixels are all wrong. It looks exactly like a scene from "N3V3R B4K DWN: CH4TTIN 4 U."

its google..phone search engines sats, cctv, now conmen princes

I had one of these deals years ago. Someone sent me an email saying I'm the sole heir of a long lost relative, blah blah.

I pretended to fall for it, had him send me some documents, he really wanted my checking account numbers. I strung him along as long as I could and kept him busy.

Then I sent him a virus. And registered his cell phone number to as many websites as I could get a hold of.

If you ever want to mess with a friend, send them a lot of junk mail and phone calls. Tell the four branches of the armed forces your'e thinking of joining. Give them thier info. They won't be left alone.

I'm totally missing out on Geekologie today because I'm actually busy at work. Can you believe it!?

Pew pew pew

@25 FTW, fight the scum of the system!

When telemarketers (used) to call here, I'd pretend to be interested also. After listening to their rant I'd tell them to hold on a minute while I go find my credit card. I'd just set the phone down & continue my day until I heard the disconnected phone beeping.

The longest hold I ever had someone on was about a half hour, and that was probably because I had the tv on in the background. Wasting their time seemed very appropriate, it was the least I could do

lame

Kill the spammers!

hahah that's great.

Hehe. My wife always hands the phone to me for telemarketers...

I was raised in Glasgow and have a heavy accent that I can go completely bonkerz on when the mood hits me. Its hilarious hearing them try to make a sale with someone who is speaking english, but can't be understood.


haha mr dutu...

fuukkfcvk demmmm spaaaaaaamahhsSSS!!!1!1111

funny you post this. i just got my first spam e-mail from craigslist.

"H! I like your post. I am good looking female. I am from Russia and moving to the states shortly
I am looking for a good man to spend my time with and who can show me around
Could you please kindly reply to me at yptbmatosskhsxj@gmail.com
I'll send some pictures of me in reply so you could see who you're talking to
Could you reply to my email account I am giving in the message as I am writing from my work email which i don't normally check"

i posted about a free dog. go figure...

I started chating with one of those Russian chicks just for fun, knowing it was a scam. She'd ask something like "Tell me about yourself." I'd write things like, "I'm overweight, unemployed, and smell funny." And she'd write back with the "That sounds sexy, I'd like to get to know you bettter...here's a picture.." comment. I put little to no effort into each response, making it more and more obvious each time...till she asked for me to send her money for a plane ticket so she could visit...

Yeah, let me go ahead and get right on that...

When!? You f****** full of shit!? Beep!

Hi guys,

find the complete chat here:
http://onlinearmorpersonalfirewall.blogspot.com/2009/03/yes-16million-usd-but-we-will-have-to.html

WHEN!!??

ahahaha lol

Who the fcuk are you talking to "R2-D2"?

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never BAck DOwn where MAx was contacted by a nigerian scammer and turned the tables on him using scambaiting techniques he learned on 419eater.com. He also got a picture of a man with a fish on his head for a birthday gift for Baja.

wtf?

Fake?

Nevertheless, still a huge FAIL! I can'e believe my Dad almost fell for this kind of Scam before. It was a good thing he asked me first.

Oh thank god... I was afraid Daisy was never going to show. (For real, I mean, though good snippet earlier.) I don't know if I could handle that.

@34 that's great, how can I get on one of these chats?

Free dog?

I'll see if I can find any of those old emails and post her address :p

this exchange with the scammer was amazing
i just got sent an "invitation" by some "briggette williams" to be friends on myspace heres the msg.
"hey cutie what are u up to ?... im brigette..21 im just new here on this site and im lookin for new friends online...i find ur profile nice and cute..i want to get to know u more..do u have yahoo or msn so we can chat?... if u wish to chat with me u can add me up on yahoo chillybrigette@yahoo.com or chillybrigette@live.com hope this would be the great start of our friendship see yah..."
thing is, this guys got pics of keeley hazel all over "brigette's" myspace page. after i pointed that out he just said "k" and reposted the whole msg above again.
i guess he couldnt keep his composure....

^ I have no idea who Keeley Hazel is, but she's smokin' hot!

http://www.break.com/index/guy-screams-and-flails-on-live-tv.html

LMAO! This shit is hilarious. Check this out.

i had some one like this a while ago..from zimbabwe...crying about how his hous got burnt down and he has money..just needs a bank blah bla blah....they are very open about it.....and there im wondering.....no house but still a computer? hmmm.

First!

I'm such a loser, I don't even get messages from scammers pretending to be girls.

HA J/K. I usually win thousands of british pounds every week. Lately my non-existent car warranty is about to expire (that's not exactly a scam, but just as annoying), and when i'm surfing the net some nice window came up to let me know my computer was plagued with malware and viruses. Thank goodness for Antivirus 360, Antivirus 2009 just wasn't doing it's job. And I guess Bridgette Williams is a slut.

Why can't people just get jobs like everyone else? I doubt that if you were homeless or unemployed you would have a computer or internet connection. I hope you Ctrl-Alt-Delete. And remeber to look both ways before Alt-F4 windows instead of clicking on the X.

Ha!
"Mr Robert Dutu"? Even the name is honest:
Robert = Rob
Rob Dutu => Robbed You Too

It's easy to avoid these scams, just say no. But what do you do when the legislators and courts are forcing the scam upon you? In America courts often deliberately base their rulings in child support cases on falsities. And child molestation and rape charges doesn't have to be proved, an accusation is enough for a conviction. A lot of people convicted for rape are actually innocent because the jury didn't care about evidence when a woman apparently was hurt, that's a big scam. If people are stupid enough to fall for these nigerian hikes, then they are stupid enough to make bad decisions when voting, trying evidince, ... etc.

Btw, I need your help, I recently met a Nigerian princess, her dad is the king of Niger and all of Africa, anyway in order to get married to her I need airplane tickets. However I'm broke and unemployed, just sitting here waiting for the football season to begin and drinking beer, soo I don't have the money. Just send me the money for the airplane tickets and my bride's father (the king of Africa) will surely repay you generously.

Obviously that guy wasn't bothered, but if anyone else is interested in my millions of dollars, feel free to get in touch.

Hi softilicious,

I would like to help you pay for your airplane ticket just email me your bank account at robdu2@yahoo.com.

Its amazing how stupid these little scams can be. My brother in law recieved an email from one saying that some guy by the same name as my husband died two years ago and he needed help to get this huge sum of money. Brought many lols that day.

Mr. Robert Dutu told me it's not a scam...so I sent him my life savings....

That's only $34 and a peppermint patty mind you, but I think I've struck gold baby!

Softilicious, you are guilty. Your guilt is apparent in the fact that you are blathering about something that has nothing to do with the topic in multiple posts. You raped that child. Your wife divorced you for it and now you have to pay her. Get over it and get your child molesting ways off of the internet. You make us all sick.

funniest shit i read

There you are Daisy!

Love you babe!

58- Thank you.

Recently I had one of those fake Russian chicks emailing me. When she asked what I liked to do for fun I wrote back that, "I like to kill prostitutes and bury them in the desert. Of course, I wouldn't mind killing you as well once you come to visit because I know you aren't reading what I write" and of course she wrote back that it sounded great and she couldn't wait to come visit me. LOL

Just today:

FROM: ali kone
TO: emailnaas@yahoo.com

Attn:

I work as the auditor with African Development Bank Ouagadougou Burkina Faso,I have an Investor under my portfolio with a closing balance of $30 million his first initial deposit.

This Investor died 31 july 2000 leaving no WILL or AUTHORIZATION for re-transfer of his Investment and its proceeds to the INHERITOR and because of the laws here in Burkina Faso.

I have personally carried out an Investigation on the subject matter that takes me 9 months to finalize and was made to understand that the Family or Relatives of the Investor knows nothing about his Investment and none have any records of all his deposits and investment with us leaving an avenue for claiming of the said funds with its accrued interest on presentation of a trustworthy person that can stand as the INHERITOR to the deceased blah blah blah blah blah blah.........................................................

There's a lot more but it's pointless to paste the rest of his email.

Pew³ - if you'd feel so inclined to test anything in your arsenal with that information, please feel free to do so on my behalf

crap his email didn't paste, it's

ali kone

WTF!?! last time, no brackets!

ali kone -> barewa61@msn.com

naas - are we having problems this morning?

Yes TC I am. Apparently when pasting an email address within brackets here, the brackets act as a portal & send the text into spaaaaace ghooooost

My mom was hit on by a Nigerian prince once.

A Nigerian chap tried to scam my mate out of his mobile phone, so he sent them a box of his cat's crap. Well worth the postage.

What an absolute CLASSIC!! I love it!

http://spambait.wordpress.com/category/baron-destructo-martin-holme/

haha freakin epic!
"thanks man"

I'm going to go laugh myself to sleep and dream of Nigerian princesses.

@53: king of Niger? Can't even bullshit properly.

EPIC, LULZ

xD thats priceless can't believe he actually told u it was a scam xD

wow there's a lot of comments on this one and i read them all and i give them all a great gob to everyone xD bye

There are scammers in most countries not only Nigeria. There are a network in Pakistan trying to scam you of your money. They hide as web developers but can't code. The example that comes to mind is edigitalstream.com and superfreehosting.com. They claim they are based in the UK.

I don't think this is real, it was probably set up.

If you don't know about jewelry knowledge, but want to action you can see jewelry fashion review,then maybe you can save your money!

It's a good idea .Thank you.

good article...thanks a lot for the information!

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