Souper!: b/c 'The Plane' Doesn't Always Work
If there's one thing I learned about feeding kids it's that you have to take the tape off their mouths or they spill all over themselves. And then the daycare starts questioning your credentials and arrest history. Thankfully, you caught the manager banging the married parent of one of your charges so you're pretty much indispensable despite your penchant for getting high in the custodial closet and drinking the Mop & Glo. Anyway, for those of you who can't get their kids to eat without "HERE COMES THE PLANE, NEEEEEOOOWWW"ing it into their fat little faces, here's comes the SOUPER! from Fred & Friends. It's a spoon that looks like a superhero action figure. It's great for both cereal and beanie weenies and will be available next month for about $12. But, if you can't wait that long, you can always rip a G.I. Joe's head off and wedge a spoon down his neck hole. Because that's what we did during the war, and knowing is half toe battle. I'm talking trench foot, bitches.
Thanks to Chris, who doesn't need a souperhero spoon to eat because he's hooked up to a chocolate milk IV. Nice Chris, I like your style.