It's About Time: How To Convert Your Natural Joystick Into A Functional Atari Controller
NOTE: VIDEO IS PROBABLY NSFW DEPENDING ON HOW YOUR EMPLOYER FEELS ABOUT A GUY TREATING HIS JUNK LIKE AN ATARI JOYSTICK.
(The Joydick is) a wearable haptic device for controlling video gameplay based on realtime male masturbation. Through the use of a carefully designed strap-on interface, the user's penis is converted into a joystick capable of moving the character onscreen in all four cardinal directions. For games requiring the fire button, a separate ring can be worn which converts hand-strokes into button presses.
Super, so it can move in all four cardinal directions -- but what about the hummingbird directions, huh? I've heard they can fly backwards. BOOM! That was your head exploding from my profoundness. Take the rest of the day off, GW's orders.
Joydick Atari game controller [boingboing]
Thanks to Amanda, Praveen and Stirling, who don't need this because they have the power to enter video games and have sex with the actual characters. Joust, baby, Joust.