Feb 5 2009Idiot Tries To Strangle Girlfriend With Wiimote


In the latest of video game-themed attacks, a guy tried to strangle his girlfriend with the cord of a Wiimote. And I'll tell you -- he even LOOKS like the kind of guy that'd try to strangle someone with a video game controller. What a quarter-pound of fail.

An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.

The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after.

First of all, you don't ever try to strangle a woman, that's pathetic. And secondly, if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you never, ever, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, come between a woman and her Girl Scout Cookies. You're lucky to be alive, Alvarez, now kill yourself.

Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller [statesman]

Thanks to Jordan, who once tried to choke his roommate with a PS3 controller. The plan was doomed from the start.

Related Stories
Reader Comments


i hate people like this.

ate ALL the cookies. what a greedy bastard.

hope the wii still works? there is a wii right she didnt like break it right? maybe the real story is that she got him the wii box and he got excited and was like omg thank you baby i want to marry you, then he opened the box only to find a single wii mote, the rage took over him and he had to do what any nintendo fan would do, he chuck norrised her ass

What a piece of shit. I hope he gets ass raped in jail, daily.

Ollie, is that you?

He looks friendly :D

Silly LSDiesel, Ollie is a fat black man.

Who wants this dog?

Totally Fake. Why? No way this guy has a girlfriend.

is this guy insane? he could have broken the controller.

It looks like he has plucked eyebrows and is wearing lipstick and bronzer. You're right, geek - could he look any more like a serial killer?!

I think trying to jam the console itself down her throat would've been much quicker and more effective. Wow I can't believe I'd say something like that, something that would destroy a Wii? Shame on me.

Oh...I thought this was the girlfriend...

What a sorry loser.

Yeah. He should've read my book '101 easy ways to off your pesky other' I'm having a signing next thursday in my jail cell.

I thought Wiimotes were cordless?

check out this hilarious video about Larry Flint's PORNO BAILOUT:



Go back to your shitty show you Al Roker rip off. Nobody likes you. Why do you bother getting up every morning? Just kill yourself now and quit breathing our air.

@#9 - I think they meant to say Prostitute.. not girlfriend.


He's very pretty.

If i was a dude with eyebrows like that, i'd go through life being pretty angry too.

I can see it now:
"Fox News Special Report. The evil satan machine otherwise known as the wii has caused another attempted murder today. Reports say that a man was mimicking what he saw in a video game when he took the 'wiimote' and allegedly tried to strangle his girlfriend. The man says that he was playing 'Grand Theft Mass Effect' a murder simulation game that teaches kids how to kill their parents and kittens. In the midst of all of this chaos being caused by the wii (broken tvs, buildings exploding, murders) won't anyone think of the kittens? This has been a Special Report reminding you that things you're not familiar with are EVIL and cause CRIME."

Wow, I could probably write articles for Fox News.

Geeks aren't violent! What's this loser doing on Geekologie?

He should be on Douchebagologie.

With a Wiimote?? Like the wrist strap??? Must have been the classic controller..... ????? Meh


I'm here simply to piss you off. My plan is working splendidly.

Keeping Austin...um....weird? Funny I was just telling my gf she better stop eating all my samoas....b!tch....


She got what she deserved for not buying enough cookies in the first place. She's lucky he didn't unleash his hybrid Bakugans on her ass, then papercut her to death with his X-men comics collection.

this would be laughable if it wasn't such a sad statement on how retarded we've all become

The wrist cord or the cable that joins the wiimote to the nunchuck? Because the wrist straps aren't big enough to choke my chicken. Unless that girl had a really skinny neck.



Remember pencil dick, no bad words. F.uck you.

I find this post uninteresting as it has no bacon/robots/hot dudes/injuries/fondant/dinosaurs/fire/spare tire/lightsabers... did I say dinosaurs yet?

@21- The sad thing is that's true.

F*cker got what he deserved...DO NOT come between a woman and her cookies.

(Actually, I'm wondering now if she was a great deal...erm...bigger...than he looks to be. Because that would have been hilarious to watch...like watching a weasel try to choke a walrus with a piece of string.)

Why does this picture look so feminine? Add in some cheekbones and IT'S A MAN, BABY!


None of the words I posted are banned. If they were, I would have gotten the message saying so and changed my post. Eat me. Eat me hard.

It's a fake ?

dude has some nicely shaped eyebrows

aSsss, I agree. But I need to get a better taste in men.

Eaten cookies and Murder attempts. Relationships are for suckers.

I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering if someone had Photoshopped women's eyebrows onto the picture.

The fight wasnt about the girl scout cookies. The fight was about Alvarez being a tranny.

Wii-tard! (in homage to Thumperchica).

This guy is gay for owning a Wii, and yeah, I thought those controllers were cordless too...is that like the whole screen door an a submarine thing?

hmmm. this guy is gonna be the most popular guy in jail, shit i would go to jail just so i could be in the same cell as him and have him be my bitch :D ... well, be each other's bitches ....

THAT'S not a man!

THAT'S not a man!

Apparently, 2% of the population is born with both male and female genitalia. Maybe that is why he is so angry. I swear, I am looking at his picture, saying to myself, "There is no way that is a dude... well... maybe... no... but...."


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max was playing videogames. Pat Sajack coated his controller with toad juice because he wanted to finally beat him. They Bet a moped on the game, and the toad juice just made Max aa better player. Afer winning Pats moped, Max went to Del Tacos and had the bacon cheese roll.

Does it look to anyone else like that guy's wearing lipstick?

Holy Shit I went to high school with this guy!
I'm not joking I went to high with this dumb ass.

OMFG! I graduated high school with this guy in Laredo, TX!!! Too funny!

Post a Comment

Please keep your comments relevant to the post. Inappropriate or promotional comments may be removed. Email addresses are required to confirm comments but will never be displayed. To create a link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments.