Ever wanted to pretend you were an ape? Well you don't need a novelty t-shirt. You just crouch down real low and drag your knuckles on the ground and grunt a whole bunch. That's what I do, and I, my friends, was a gorilla for Halloween one year. The defense rests. Anyway, for a spine-tingling $28 you can get this (probably unlicensed) Donkey Kong t-shirt. And speaking of Donkey Kong, the snow levels in Donkey Kong Country -- ugh! I threw my controller at the TV not once, not twice, but twenty-thrice. SCREW YOU, STUPID SPINNING LAUNCH BARRELS! And, while I'm at it, suck it Zelda II! Wait, was that....blasphemous? Oh my God, what have I done?
Thanks to Russell, who needs no excuse to hurl barrels at unsuspecting plumbers.