One day Dale Lyle got a speeding ticket in the mail issued by one of those automatic ticketing cameras. It claimed he was doing 98MPH in his 14-year old Honda Civic, a car he insisted could only do 85MPH max on a downhill slope with a tailwind. So what did he do? He did what any badass would do -- he stuck it to the man like dogshit under a cardoor handle.
Mr Lyle, 21, who has a clean driving license, had already sold the car to a friend for Â£600. He had to take out a bank overdraft to buy it back. Then he had to pay an independent driving expert Â£600 to test the 1.3litre Civic's top speed at a circuit in Bedfordshire.
The result was as expected. Even when driven flat-out, the Honda could still only do a top speed of 85.4mph in fourth gear and 81.3mph in fifth.
Next, Mr Lyle obtained the mobile speed-camera footage of his alleged offence - travelling at 98mph on a 70mph three-lane carriageway of the A38, near Plymouth, on December 13, 2007.
The three-minute film shows three other cars in the frame at the same time, he said, which he believes means his vehicle was mistaken for another.
Nice, Dale, way to make us all proud. Now make the court give you back all the money you spent. I swear, I wish I was more like you. I probably would have just paid the fines and then vandalized the ticketing camera. Yay, passive-aggressiveness!
Also, somebody make this website a freaking Wikipedia page already. Geekologie demands Wikognition!
Hit the jump for a picture of the test report Dale had run.
Thanks to mole, who doesn't get speeding tickets because they don't issue them underground.