First of all, I am the world's biggest Zelda fan and that's that, no arguing. I mean, I'm wearing a green freaking tunic and everything. TOOT TOOTLE TOOT DOOTLE DOOT. Yeah, that was me belting one out on the ocarina. You got me, it was a skin flute, but still. Anyway two chicks painted their car with an overworld map from The Legend of Zelda because they thought that would make them big fans or something. It doesn't. I'm the #1 fan. Also, I like turtles.
Zelda is a 1978 Ford Fairmont. She drives like a boat. She has a pretty low number of miles, because she sat still for about a decade in someone's backyard. I bought the car for $600 and spent $100 on paint. It has the map of The Legend of Zelda painted on the top of the car and the characters, Link and Zelda, on the sides. There is also a triforce and a small rendition of Sprite on the back sides. "Zelda" is painted on each side in large red letters.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna steal that sucker, but that doesn't mean these chicks love Zelda more than I do just because I didn't paint my car. Because, guess what -- I don't have a car! I ride a damn horse named Epona. To Lon Lon ranch, I've got a date with Malon!*
*Zelda, if you're reading this, I didn't mean it. You know your pointy ears are the only ones for me. Remember that time I went to kiss you on the cheek and one nearly poked my eye out? Yeah, that better not happen again. Also, Malon isn't underage is she?
Thanks Izzy Slypig, and remember: hoot like an owl if Zelda comes anywhere near the ranch.