Jan 24 2009Special Ring Counts How Much You Love


This isn't just any ring, it's a special one -- for your penis. Makes the perfect engagement ring for when your member decides to finally tie the knot with Ms. Hand.

A stretchy, orgasm-enhancing ring that actually counts your BPM - otherwise known as Bonks Per Minute! Slide the ring over your penis and enjoy a longer, harder erection as well as the fun of knowing how many times you've thrust per session!

That's right, you just slip your junk in there, have some sex, and it counts how many thrusts you complete before disappointing your partner. In my case six, give or take four (take four).

Hit the jump for two more views and a link to the NSFW product site. Aaaaaaand I'm spent.



Product Site

Thanks to Jully, who, despite my insistence that I could reset the counter at 99,999 and keep going, won't return my calls.

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Reader Comments


For the product... wow

I didn't know you could measure one's love. Or even love in general.

Oh... Oh right... that kind of love. That is sick (in a bad way).

Bizarre robot sex YES

So what happens when you go over 99,999 thrusts (Like me every night...)? Does it just like explode or something?

Hmm...electronics and juice don't mix. Just like juice don't mix with shag carpet. Just sayin.

Does it work if you are loving yourself?

Oh please, that is like 4 zeros too many. Who are they kidding. (I've said too much.)

@5: It goes DING and you get +1 to all of your stats.

AAAAANNNNDDD boom goes the dynamite

That's weak. It needs to make a noise on every thrust. Something sexy and erotic like the sound of two pickles being rubbed together or the sound of baby jesus crying and that's just off the top of my head.

It's quality not quantity that counts...how do you measure that?

12- in unreturned phone calls...

Bad Geekology Writer.

You say you can do 2 and then say you could reset the counter at 99,999


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max climbs a ladder to peek into another female student's room, and as she undresses and he gets aroused the ladder is pushed away from the house and falls over.

Unfortunately I was censored when writing under the name licious-soft backwards. It's sad, because I did make a fun joke, rather long though and it just doesn't feel right to retype stuff, and I wasn't censored just once but several times when writing posts complaining about beeing censored :( F*** you GW. Now I guess I know why you can't spell out f***. I'm f*** pi-ssed!

So the problem was that I exceeded the maximum number of url you can put in your post, the maximum 3 seems to include the "your site's url" too. I feel better now, I thought politically correct groups was using their pressure to shut me up or something. I can be a little paranoid sometimes, now I'll try to retype my joke, although I wont be able to post an image of her morther.

I actually have a "Sex Counter Cock Ring", when you thrust your dick goes into the cunt and the ring hits the cunt thereby registering a "bonk". But if the hole you're thrusting into is too big, then the thing just slits right through without bonking against any wall, I havn't got it to work with my girlfriend. Her cunt isn't tight enough I recon, so the thingamajig isn't registering anything. She isn't counting either, says I'm too small. Me? To small? Moi to small? I'm actually huge, I don't know what her problem is. Here's a picture of my girlfriend tacking a picture for her passport:
She needs a passport because she's flying over here to the states to visit me! That's good news, unless you're under 6', she'll eat you! Here's an album of her family, her mom is Gisele:
I need bigger stuff to match hers!

all of these inventions to improve sex, but yet americans still chop off the foreskin which greatly enhances sex.

example the "ribbed for her plasure" condoms have little ridges that simulate what? the ridges that occur during an outward thrust of an intact foreskin

What if I'm a midget and I'm getting busy with an Irish prostitute that I met on Craig's List while a Union Pipe fitter is f***ing me in the ass. Will it still work? And lets say I'm on a washing machine during its spin cycle during our love train. Will I still be able to get an accurate reading?

20- Just be sure to outfit your Irish CL Hooker with a well fitted O-ring at the entry point and you should be fine. Except for the whole part where a UPF is assramming you... that my friend, I have no answer for.

Awwww. I'm a bird and can't use it! :<

I've been waiting for someone to post something about this-I saw these at the Adult Entertainment Expo but couldn't find the vendor. A fun game for bored married couples I guess-except you really gotta BANG for it to count...no sliding around.
Maybe for jerking off, so a guy can keep tabs on himself.

1) don't all cock rings give you longer and harder erections? that's what they're meant to do
2) this one doesn't have a way of adjusting the size so it could either hurt(a lot!) or be too big to achieve 1.
3) Who counts?!?! WTF!!!! if you feel the need to count, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!
4) it looks like a Barbie digital watch ring, they cost like $5 and are sexy and manly in no way whatsoever. not even if you put it on 24 hour time and freeze it at 2359 before you start.
5) why does it not vibrate? If you insist on having digital proof of how inadequate you are you should at least have the courtesy to distract your partner with vibrating goodness
6) odd numbered lists are weird

Hmm... Interesting, so this really is a counter for how many times you go back and forth while having sex. Not very useful though, I mean what is the point of knowing how many times you do it.

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