Cell Phone Goes PEW PEW PEW PEW

Remember the cell phone gun that Italian police found in a raid on the mafia? Turns out they're mad popular in Europe. And, I've got to tell...
December 26, 2008

Now That's A Tasty Website: The Bacon-izer

Want to add some delicious flair to any website? Then just type http://bacolicio.us/ before a site's URL (e.g. http://bacolicio.us/http://www.geekologie.com/), and presto, you're licking fingerprints off your monitor....
December 26, 2008

eBay: Pocket Sized Vampire Hunting Kit

Well we've already seen a $15,000 full-sized vampire killing kit. But what if you want something smaller? You know, a little vampire protection that'll fit in your...
December 26, 2008

Merry Christmas, You Filthy Rebel Scum

Well folks, we've all somehow managed to survive another year and make it to Jesus' B-day Extravaganza, 2008. I imagine you're all enjoying time with friends and...
December 25, 2008

A Little Holiday Something From Me To You

No need to thank me folks, just spreading some holiday, um, nipple-stache. And remember, it's not too late to add "new eyes" to your last minute Christmas...
December 24, 2008

Best iPhone App To Date Rejected By Apple

iBoobs, undeniably the best iPhone application to date, has been denied the right to be sold in the iTunes store, because Apple claims the app is pornographic....
December 24, 2008

Scientists Say 'Sex Chips' Are Coming Soon

Sex chips. My God, what if they come in honey bbq flavor? The chip works by sending tiny shocks from implanted electrodes in the brain. Neurosurgery professor...
December 24, 2008

Have Some Fun Tossing The F-Bomb Around

The F-Bomb is a little $10 plushie with a sensor inside that, when thrown to the ground, says everyone's favorite f word. Which, I can only assume,...
December 24, 2008

Cannibals: Japanese People Taste The Best

That's right folks: according to the cannibals of Papua New Guinea, the Japanese are delicious. Anthropologist Olga Ammann describes it more succinctly in the book. She quotes...
December 23, 2008

Santa, Quick!: A Millennium Falcon Sled

It's a well known fact that Santa hates my guts because I caught him boning a reindeer one foggy Christmas Eve while I was trying to piss...
December 23, 2008

Yes Please!: Real Life Thor Hammers

Definitely watch this to the very end. It's a bunch of kids running around with real-life Thor hammers. I have no idea if this is some kind...
December 23, 2008

Building A Low Carb Gingerbread House

With meat instead of gingerbread! And not just any meat -- deliciously processed meat. Mmmm! The whole abode is held together with a delectable mortar, which you...
December 23, 2008

What To Do In A Plane Crash: Twitter

If you're ever in a plane crash, what's the first thing you should do? Of course -- Twitter about it! That's exactly what Mike Wilson did after...
December 23, 2008

Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch

The Cabestan Winch Tourbillion Vertical Watch is utterly ridiculous and has 1,352 parts (in comparison, my sundial has two). It's "driven by a 450 link chain and...
December 23, 2008

The Ultimate In Christmas Lighting Effects

I vow to be the guy who puts up the ridiculous Christmas lights every year. But no inflatable decorations. Those things are freaking classless. Unless you have...
December 23, 2008

60,000 Piece LEGO Hoth Battle Diorama

Sorry for the unusual lack of postage in the past few days, folks. I've been traveling my ass off (read: cover up for male enhancement surgery) and...
December 23, 2008

Float-A-Pet Prevents Pet Drownings

The Float-A-Pet floating dog collar saves pet lives should God decide to spite us with another flood for all the debauchery. When the collar's sensors detect water...
December 22, 2008

Instant Decorating: The Christmas Cannon

If there's one thing I hate about Christmas it's that fat bastard Santa and his lack of presentry for yours truly. I swear, you write one too...
December 22, 2008