Nov 11 2008Help A Virgin Devirginize!: Actually, Nevermind

poor-bastard.jpg

Nobody has helped me devirginize, so why should I help anybody else? Gotta look out for numero uno, if you know what I mean. I'm gonna touch a boob yet. Anyway, some poor schmuck allegedly has a lady friend that will have sex with him if his website gets 5 million unique hits by New Years (just get a hook already you cheap bastard). Which, since he was only at 84,939 the last time I checked, probably isn't going to happen. How do I know? Click the link to his page to find out.

Help a Virgin

Haha, f*** you buddy!

Thanks to "this is not my site, I am happily sexed up" Brad, for rubbing that in my face.
Real site here if you really want to help the undeserving bastard.

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Reader Comments

front o' the line

fist-ing

I'm afraid he's just gonna have to give himself a hand.
Hahahahahahhahah, you see what I did there? Like jerkoff, like masterbate, whip the bishop, strangle the one-eyed monster...
That's some priceless shit right there, pew.

Someones cheating.

If you refresh, the numbers jump quite fast.
And if you refresh fast enough, there is a visitor every 1 second - very steady pace. I think someone is using some script to add the numbers up quick.

As said, refreshing doesn't add visitor count, so someone is doing some sneaky scripting.

It's the same type of scam as the big foot scam. (Sensational news, no proof).

That site is there to collect ad money. Don't visit the undeserving bastard.

How is this significant?

I lost my virginity to a male donkey. Big whoop!

he's gotta get internet traffic before this chick will bang him?
what a wierd fetish.

I bet GW would be into this

CLICK CLICK CLICK!

PEW PEW PEW!

Umm, ever heard of hookers?

#7 - my thoughts exactly. What girl cares about internet hits?

I bet even if he hits the mark she'll just publicly humiliate him for taking it seriously/ being that lame.

Dude needs to lose his virginity the old fashioned ways... either a person who has had more sex than you seduces you into having sex (or makes you think they actually care) or you get drunk and throw it away. Or the even older fashion way, hook it and hope for the best

I see we hook him up with daisy, Even if his picture is photoshopped Shell neverback down until the shadows on the wall are all wrong.

I Say lol... Sorry Long Day.

This is sort of the same way I lost my virginity. Except my chick wanted me to [blank]. (Match Game)

This is exactly how I lost my virginity. Except instead of "hits" it was "dollars", and instead of "getting 5 million" it was "giving her 150". Oh, and instead of "giving her 150" it was "giving him 150".

This is sort of the same way I lost my virginity. Except my chick wanted me to - get 5 million unique hits to the groin.

no glove, no love

Davo,

where the hell have you been?!!

ZOMG REI I CAME *FAPFAP-FAAAAAAAAAP-FAPFAPFAP

Am I the only one who finds it odd that he's making such a big deal about being a virgin at the age of 25?

Because I'm thinking it's because he sucks.
And that he's too stupid to play it off as being part of his religion.

Look's like the "Transvestite Charity Drive" is in full swing this holiday...poor bloke.
5 million hits are cumming your way fella!
"Now, who's with me in helping this "L" get a story he'll tell his inborn grandkids?"

**UPDATE**: "My portfolio manager says if we sacrifice a virgin, the market should bounce right back up...." *bz bzz baz bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (starting up my chainsaw) "Heeeellllooooooooooo Virgin, say hello to my little friend..heh he"

What a complete toolbox. I sincerely hope that chick (neck?) outs this toilet-seat in public when he marches in in his tighty-whiteys announcing he has the required hits. I can see it now, a grown man cautiously poking a boob with an outstretched index finger for a half a f***ing hour....

C'MON GW!

I need one more hit today! Don't leave us with this post for the rest of the night.

Virgin at 25 is sad. Of course, if he lived as close as I do to Tijuana, he would have lost his virginity on his 18th birthday at Adalitas!

I am going to post a link on myspace... NO ONE should go that long w/o sex hahahahaha

This guy still needs about 75,000 clicks PER DAY from now until new years eve. I'm a Computer. Stop all the downloading. Oh yea, this guy will never get laid.

This guy's a copycat! Over two years ago, someone started a web site (http://www.avirginsplea.com/) with almost the same situation, same age, same kind of bet, even the same 5 million visitors goal. There used to be pictures too.

I think the guy eventually canceled or abandoned the idea...

this guy.... (shakes head in disbelief) this guy is the pimp of the century.

why... I had to lick my own elbow in order to get my first taste of poon.

(go ahead, try and lick your elbow. if you do, poon will appear magically on your computer)

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..................................

Always be nice to YOURAYNUS.

This has been a public service annoyance

you got me twice with the link thing haha.

poor guy, there's no way he'll get there.

I can't believe this schmuck! He can EASILY get laid by going to adultsonlylist.com. It's basically replaces craigslist as the mother of free sex personals, I tried it and let me tell you, i am smiling. i should email this guy, poooooor schmuck.

FAKE!!!!

This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its fake, the shadows are all wrong.

This looks a lot like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max begs Baja to devirginize him for 50 unique american dollars.

@25

Like I said above, the counter is automated at 1 increment per second.
That makes 86400 increase per day. He'll make it... but it's all fake.

It's actually less than one second, but it is still constant.

No matter what time of day it is, whether 4am, or 4pm, the counts are at the same rate.

If you refresh the page in 60 seconds, and do it again for the next 60 seconds, it will be the same amount of counts increase.

I call BS

http://avirginsplea.com/

SCAM !! It's been done before, and many more sites of alike at a different date.
Same 25 year old, 5million views.

Here's another spam scam:

http://www.prawiczek25.pl/index_en.php

Copied from above:

--------------------------------

This guy's a copycat! Over two years ago, someone started a web site (http://www.avirginsplea.com/) with almost the same situation, same age, same kind of bet, even the same 5 million visitors goal. There used to be pictures too.

I think the guy eventually canceled or abandoned the idea...

--------------------------------

This entire idea was originally a viral experiment that succeeded far better than the creators originally planned. Eventually they owned up and said hey, this is a sham, was for a university project or something. They caught a lot of backlash at the time IIRC

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That the story of my life!

hit!

apparently this guy has no extended family... if he did I'm sure there would have been a creepy uncle like mine that would have helped him out... or a cute first cousin he could have slipped a roofie. Sad.

I hope my site doesn't crash before I hit 5 million!

It's fake. The author appears to be 19yo. More info on the link.

So far he's up to 193,465, I don't know if he's gonna make it, I hope he does!

dude .... what kinda bitch "friend" wouldnt sleep with him even if he falls short? if she made the deal, then he cant be THHHAAATTTTT bad .... homegirl needs to take one for the team. pound a 12 pack and let him dive right in. isnt that what friendship is all about?

Heh. It's March 14th of '09. I'm not helping this lameass at all even by clicking the link. Bottom line is... I was a virgin until 21, where I met my wife of 19 and had the most beautiful little daughter a shotgun wielding father could ask for.

If you're 25 and haven't got any yet, come to Nevada, get a sixty dollar blojob. That oughtta help with your lack of confidence. You'll soon realize that you were probably hotter as a virgin, and you probably had more of a chance of getting laid at 25, having never seen a real vagina. Chicks, despite their arrogant attitudes, like virgins. They want to take the superior role in the bedroom. They want to tell you what to do. Just tell that friend of yours to get on the bed and spread them now or you're gonna beat the holy shit out of her with a Playstation 2 controller by the cord.

She'll understand how serious you are, because no true loser would sacrifice his his PS2 controller for some pussy.

On the other hand, pussy is temporal, but Rikku will always be willing to give you half a peep show for a few potions and the ability to steal grenades.

(Now you see why I was a virgin until 21. That's okay. My Wife cosplays Rikku perfectly. >:) .)

What happend to this?

Where there is a will there is a way.

Sorry bro.. nice try though

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