First of all, what in the hell is a 'toilet paper researcher', and how do I become one? Secondly, this is ridiculous. I've been wiping with the comics for years, and let me tell you -- you could probably read Garfield on my buttcheeks.
Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.
The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as "ultra-soft" and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time."
Hey, I'm not 45+ or female, but I'm all for a "sanctuary of quality time". I spend countless hours in my cozy fortress of solitude. It even has a bidet. I've been using it for a couple months and, honest to God, I haven't gotten a single cavity. Yay fluoride!
Toilet-Paper Researchers Create 3-Ply Tissue [livescience]
"Toilet Paper Researchers" Create 3-Ply Tissue [gizmodo]
Thanks to Emma, who, in the world of comfy toilet paper, would be like 12-ply