If you're anything like me you made the mistake of getting your girlfriend pregnant because she told you she was a millionaire. And now you're stuck with two (she told me she was worth at least $500,000 the second time) ungrateful teenagers that want to go to the mall everyday or over to their friend's house to do drugs and/or have sex. Enter Dad's Cab, an $18 clock that looks like a taxi meter. You just slap that mother to the dash with adhesive tape, load up the kids, and then drive them wherever they demand. Then, when you're slowing down to 25MPH so they can roll out, you toss a fare card out the window. Fares include "Bring me a mug of tea an the paper on the weekend", "Wash, wax, and vacuum my car", "Let daddy get drunk in front of the TV for the night", "Stop stealing my beer", "Get a freaking job", and "Run away from home".
Geez, whatever happened to using public transportation? When I was a kid, there was no asking my parents for a ride. They'd just pin a note to my shirt with my destination printed on it and send me off to the bus stop. And that, dear reader, is how I was kidnapped by a one-eyed prostitute.
Thanks Julia tripped on whiskey, we should get together and do that sometime.