The HowTie from Fred is a tie that features pictorial instructions on how to tie the damn thing. Personally, I think they look like hieroglyphics, but I've never tied a tie before. And for the rest of you out there that can't, or don't want to learn, I've got two words for you: get a blogging job. We don't wear ties. Or pants. Hell, sometimes we don't even sport underwear. Isn't that right? Back me up here, Superficial and Iwatchstuff Writers. Whoa, too close! I meant verbally.
Thanks to Britany, who once heckled me on the bus after work for not wearing drawls.