Montauk Monster: Interview, Speculation

Well forks -- can I call you forks? Good, anyway my loyal sporks, the Montauk Monster mystery has been solved. Turns out it was my sister. Haha, Tracey -- that's what you get for mom and dad always loving you more. Fine, so nobody has identified what the hell the beast is yet. But there is another picture, along with three horrible Photoshop fakes (all included after the jump for your FAKE!ing pleasure). Oh, and an interview with the three women that found the thing. They say they've got the corpse decomposing in a box at a friend's place. SICK! And also, start the grill. I'd really believe this was all a hoax if the three chicks seemed mentally capable of tying their shoes. But they're not. I think they're Velcro girls. So, my spoony friends, check out all the media after the jump and draw your own conclusions. But remember -- even bloated, fugly monsters need love. Isn't that right, Tracey? HOLY MOTHER OF....PUT YOUR BAG BACK ON BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH A STICK!

Hit the jump for a new picture, three obvious Photoshoppings, and a painful interview with three life failures.

Montauk Monster Pictures and Video [actionnooz]

Thanks Antoine and Pat, now let's find out where they're hiding that thing so we can eat it.

• Monster Washes Ashore In Montauk

  July 30, 2008

  Allegedly this is a picture of some unknown monster that washed ashore in Montauk, on the eastern tip of Long Island. Obviously it's fake, because 1. like a girlfriend that doesn't make me want to blow my eardrums out, monsters don't exist, and 2. whoever made it modeled the d... / Continue →
• Is This Really Bigfoot? (Hint: Hell If I Know)

  August 14, 2008

  First the Montauk Monster, then a chupacabra, and now....Bigfoot? Two Bigfoot hunters claim they have the body of one and plan to release a photo and what they claim is DNA evidence at a news conference in Palo Alto on Friday. The Bigfoot is claimed to have been found in th... / Continue →
• Is This A Chupacabra? (Hint: Probably Not)

  August 13, 2008

  A Texas cop was on a routine fence inspection drive (WTF?) when he found a strange creature running in the road. He claimed it was hairless, had long back legs, short front legs, and a massive snout. So he started filming it with the car's camera. Hit the jump to see the vid... / Continue →