Man Humps Steel Bench, Almost Loses Junk
I have no idea what some of you tipsters' obsession is with guys getting their junk stuck in things, but it's borderline disturbing (just kidding, it's totally rad). But here goes: Xing, a 41-year old man, was wandering through LanTian park in Hong Kong late one night when he thought to himself, "I should stick my penis in a steel park bench, you know, for the Olympics." And that's what he did. Unfortunately, mid-coitus Xing realized he was stuck and called the police using his cell phone.
When police arrived, Xing was moaning in pain and stuck face down to the bench. They tried several penis-liberating options (including taking blood) before sawing the entire bench off and taking it to the hospital. 4 hours later Xing had his penis back, sans giant metal bench attachment. Good thing too, because doctors said one hour longer and they would have chopped his member off. Oh man, this reminds me of the time I made love to a hole in a tree during a camping trip. Hello woodpecker nest! Seriously, I pee out the side of my penis now.
Hit the jump for two more pictures of Xing and a video news report. Warning: lots of painful moaning. Lots. A lot, a lot. Tons. Never heard so much painful moaning. Also, added another link to a story about a guy that had sex with the umbrella hole of his picnic table so often that his neighbor finally filmed it and called the police. You're welcome.
Thanks to Tekaro, Jered, and Brandon, who live vicariously through these stories.