The Votex Fountain doesn't shoot water out of a lion's mouth or pour from a bare-breasted woman's water jug, but it is expensive and comes with a lifetime tackiness guarantee. Basically, it's a giant acrylic cylinder with a pump that created a vortex in the center. Because I'm made of money, I bought one and had it installed in the front yard so all the neighbors will know who rules this street. Yep, I'm officially the richest person in the neighborhood and the only one with a....*gazes through window at fountain*....neighbor's brat shitting in their Vortex. That's it, the little bastard's going in.
Video added after the jump, thanks Icon.